


mutual(s) admiration

by minchaecolate (feels_train)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, chatfic uh kinda maybe, hh as mutuals, hyungwon is one embarrassing frog, i just wanted to add +1 to the hh tag so, im sorry i dont even bother to beta, minhyuk is one lucky sunshine, wonho cries a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-04-20 03:43:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feels_train/pseuds/minchaecolate
Summary: Biggest Monsta X' fanboy with the biggest raging boner for its Chae Hyungwon, Minhyuk, receives a message from some weirdo but also weirdly cute creep with the username TheHumanKermit.Alternatively, Minhyuk is the fan we all wanted to be and Hyungwon is an angel or bitch or asshole. They all work.





	1. a beautiful day

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry i kno my english sucks ;-; this is clearly very self-indulgent and for stress relief :D also nap wanted to download fics as pdf ily nap this is for u *wink wink*
> 
> crossposted from wattpad and maybe aff lol

"Movemovemovemovemove  _move_ ," Minhyuk chants as he runs his greatest run of his life. His classes just ended and it was 4: 51 P.M. He needed to be in his dorm like,  _right now._

He thanks the heavens his classes ended earlier today and that there were less people in the school corridors than normal. Still doesn't stop him from hitting almost all of them in his hurry, though.

"Move, midget!" he shoves an unfortunate Changkyun who was in the way.

"I'm not a midget! You're just taller, Minhyuk hyung!" Changkyun scoffs before running after him. "Why the rush?! You need to pay me!"

Minhyuk ignores his dongsaeng's words, solely focused on getting inside his room in seven minutes. Who cares if he hasn't paid the money he owes Changkyun for a month already? Monsta X will release their new music video in a few minutes and he needs to be the first one to scream and fill timelines with Hyungwon screenshots. Changkyun would  _never_  understand.

He shuts his dorm door with 23 seconds to spare and he pounces on his bed and retrieves his iPad immediately.

He catches his breath while searching for a new notification on YouTube and he squeals before he clicks on the newly uploaded video.

And his fanboying ensues.

\--

_did you???!!! see??!!? chae hyungwno??!! rude!!? jgahslk @jookkung KKUKKUNG wHERE R U_

_@chaelattea KKUKKUNG IS HERE AHDLQJK I SAW!!! RUDE!!! JOOHEON!!! IM DEAD TELL MY MOM I LOVE HER MINMIN_

_@jookkung M SORRY I CANT ADLQKS IM DEAD TOO CAN U BELIEVE JACKETS KILLED ME_

_@chaelattea OMG STOP I DONT WANT TO DIE AGAIN I DONT TO BE REMINDED THAT MY BAES DID. THAT._

Minhyuk smiles to himself as he thinks of a reply when his phone dings, signifying a message. He decides to leave Kkukkung alone first. Let him suffer for himself for a bit.

_hi ho_

The message says, and Minhyuk arches an eyebrow. He clicks on the person's twitter profile to see:

_Mr. Green Frog_

_@TheHumanKermit_

_i post memes_

_Okay_ , Minhyuk arches an eyebrow.  _Okay, what the fuck_.

He shakes his head, deciding to ignore whoever the hell Kermit is. He  _knows_  who Kermit is he just doesn't, isn't really  _interested_  in talking to a Muppet. Wait, he is interested with talking to a Muppet but in a  _real_  Muppet. Not some weird ass Kermit roleplay account or something. But that's not the point.

Maybe he'll reply some other time, because he promised himself to always reply to every message. He's that nice and friendly. Just, not now, when he can waste his time also fanboying to the man of his dreams who is also most likely never gonna see him, or if he, by some lucky star, would see Chae Hyungwon, the light of his miserable life, his sunshine, the younger will most probably forget him. Still, it was a better option than entertaining a roleplaying Muppet.

He squeals and replies to another message from another Hyungwon stan.

\--

Three days later, Minhyuk finds himself sprawled over his bed, staring at the ceiling, with Changkyun looking at his mess in disdain. Changkyun was incidentally also his roommate.

Changkyun picks up a sock and holds it away from his face which was sporting a disgusted expression, "Hyung?"

"I'm bored, Changkyun," he mutters after a few seconds before rolling into a fetal position, "So, so bored."

He fought with Kkukkung, his bae, to put it simply. Sure he has other friends/mutuals but he wasn't in the mood to be nice. It wasn't his fault that Hyungwon was too adorable in his last fancafe selca that he forgot his and Kukkung's three-month anniversary.

"Where's your phone?"Changkyun walks past him, jabbing at the fact that Minhyuk spends more time with his phone than interacting with real life people.

"Charging," Minhyuk mumbles and the younger's eyebrows raise, "Where's  _your_  phone?"

"In my pocket," Changkyun replies, "If you're so bored then maybe you could do your laundry? Your month old socks won't wash themselves,"

Minhyuk sluggishly sits up, actually intent on doing laundry. He was  _that_  desperate.

After an hour (well, to Minhyuk it was  _almost_  an hour of  _tedious_  sorting of his clothes), he goes to the laundry room, not forgetting to bring his phone with him.

While waiting for his clothes to wash in the machine, he decides to check his notifications because he was an impulsive person who cannot live without social media.

No one talked to him. He had no motivation to strike conversations neither. So he mindlessly just scrolled and retweeted here and there and checked his inbox a last time (his heart breaks when he sees username @jookkung but he knows that their prides are in direct proportion with the number of characters in their usernames so they wouldn't be making up anytime soon).

Distracting him from his thoughts, he sees the weird ass Kermit impersonator's message.

Should I reply to it? He shrugs. It's not like this guy would see him and know him and stalk him and kill him. He hasn't disclosed his real name and any selca in his accounts.

_hi Kermit?_

_Hi ho! Kermit the frog here._

 

Minhyuk raises an eyebrow, not expecting a reply so soon.

 

_why did u leave_

_Leave? Leave what? I'm afraid I don't understand._

_sesame street duh_

_oh_

_do you even know kermit???_

_Why of course I know Kermit! I'm trying to be him, here._

_do you even WATCH Kermit???_

_no..._  
_why do you want to expose me so much_

_i had a feeling_

_i read wikipedia if that helps_

_no lmao it's ok i don't watch sesame street neither youre not the only one without a childhood here_

_oh um thanks i guess_

_yw whyd you dm me anyway_

_i saw your tweet that said anyone can slide on your dms anytime so i slid_

_ok but that was meant for monbebes, not muppets_

_:(_

_:(_

_:'(_

_ok fine we can talk dont send me crying emojis_

_:)_


	2. kkukkung who

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're in somewhere like kkt now or whatever chat app, not Twitter lmao

hyungwon's wife: hey frog

kermit: what

hyungwon's wife: you never told me you liked monsta x too

kermit: u never asked???

hyungwon's wife: not the point

kermit: youre not my mom lol

hyungwon's wife: im not angry at the fact that u never told me such vital information

kermit: then why are you angry what did i do to deserve your moodswings

hyungwon's wife: ok first of all, go to hell you deserve all my moodswings you shit

hyungwon's wife: second WHY ARE U FRIENDS WITH MY KKUKKUNG

kermit: you cant control who i can be friends with thats not how chat relationships work

kermit: second, he likes jooheon too

kermit: thirs, i dont mean to be harsh but as far as i know you and kkukkung are still not on chatting terms because of your prideful self

kermit: third*

kermit: just say you're sorry god damn it

kermit: it's annoying always having to deal with your whining

kermit: im already exhausted with you and we've only chatted for what, 3 days?? no wonder with kkukkung

hyungwon's wife: ok ok stop now I get the point stOP TORTURING ME

hyungwon's wife: i always forget your level of savagery

hyungwon's wife: why am i even talking to you

kermit: maybe because this frog is the only one who listens to your pitiful whines and actually says sensible things

hyungwon's wife: oh no, wait i know now why im still talking to you

hyungwon's wife: i like your memes

kermit: huh makes sense

kermit: what doesnt make sense is your baseless pride

hyungwon's wife: i sent kkukkung a message

kermit: when will you actually make effort to maintain relationships

kermit: wait you did???

hyungwon's wife: yes i did you bitch who keeps talking like you know me all my sorrowful life

kermit: ok sorry i guess that was rude

kermit: sorry

hyungwon's wife: it's fine

hyungwon's wife changed kermit's name to 'bitch'.

hyungwon's wife: im not angry it's ok

bitch: ...

bitch: i feel bad..?

hyungwon's wife: you're forgiven

hyungwon's wife: as long as you don't make kkukkung your best friend

bitch: why not??

hyungwon's wife: because kkukkung is my first favorite person

hyungwon's wife: even if im not his first favorite person

hyungwon's wife: i dont think ill be able to accept it if u become his favorite person

bitch: oh

bitch: that's sad...

hyungwon's wife: it's ok ive long gone accepted that i will never be anyone's first favorite person

bitch: nonsense

bitch: you're my first favorite person

hyungwon's wife:

hyungwon's wife: what

bitch: ...what do you mean 'what'??

hyungwon's wife: we've only been chatting for 3 days kermit what the hell

hyungwon's wife: you cant be creeping to my heart like this already

hyungwon's wife: that's not how chat relationships work

 

Minhyuk lowers his phone from his face, a smile creeping into his face. He and Kermit has formed this weird relationship three days ago, when he asked to add kermit outside of Twitter after having a satisfying and entertaining debate whether you can wear skirts over pants. Minhyuk won, skirts can be worn over pants.

It was quite interesting for Minhyuk, to say the least. He hadn't really expected to go along well with a stranger. Okay, he goes along well with ALL strangers, because he's Lee Minhyuk who does his best to befriend all strangers, but he hadn't expected to find this weird person cute.

 

bitch: lol i was nervous for a bit

bitch: well im glad im already establishing a place in your easy heart

bitch: plus im pretty sure youre kkukkung's first too so dont be sad abt that

hyungwon's wife: youve destroyed that place in my heart when you called it easy good job

hyungwon's wife: im not kkukkung's first

bitch: ??? you are

hyungwon's wife: no, jooheon is his first

bitch: oh

bitch: then that means chae hyungwon isn't your first??

hyungwon's wife: he isn't my first YET

bitch: ??

hyungwon's wife: kkukkung is a rich ass mofo who already met jooheon

bitch: and you haven't met hyungwon??

hyungwon's wife: yet

bitch: so when you meet chae hyungwon, he'll be your first?

hyungwon's wife: yep

bitch: then that means i am the one who will be no one's first

bitch: i should be the sad one here

hyungwon's wife: most probably

bitch: wow

bitch: i dont know what to say

hyungwon's wife: youll accept it soon don't worry

bitch: why do you like hyungwon so much anyway?? he's not that great..

hyungwon's wife: ok i dont mean to be rude but

hyungwon's wife: FUCK YOU??

hyungwon's wife: what do you mean he's not great?!!!?

hyungwon's wife: HE IS THE GREATEST BLESSING ON EARTH

bitch: ..i guess he's handsome..?

hyungwon's wife: look, I don't think you understand kermit

hyungwon's wife: HE'S THE MOST FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE MOST HANDSOME THE MOST GORGEOUS THE MOST PRECIOUS ANGEL ALIVE

hyungwon's wife: IDEK WHY HE'S ON EARTH

hyungwon's wife: he's too beautiful when he smiles I just want to cry

hyungwon's wife: he's a sunshine

hyungwon's wife: my love

bitch: ...okay

bitch: so what if he's mean? what if he's not an angel as his appearance makes him to be?

hyungwon's wife: no kermit. he's kind. I love kind.

bitch: how can you say so :/

hyungwon's wife: i guess you haven't seen his fansign clips, kermit. He isnt just happy with his fans, he LOVES them. so damn much. he looks at them and treats fans with so much love.

hyungwon's wife: and he works so hard for his fans. he sleeps only 1 or 2 hours a day when their promotions start. he sacrifices his sleep to be his best.

hyungwon's wife: he's very passionate for the things he loves

hyungwon's wife: and he's so goddamn talented!!! I live for his sultry, smooth voice and how graceful he moves. i hate how he doesn't get the recognition he deserves

hyungwon's wife: he deserves all the love in the world

hyungwon's wife: and i love how he's quiet but friendly and that he thinks his words thoroughly before he speaks in consideration of others feelings

hyungwon's wife: an opposite of me

hyungwon's wife: but he wouldn't stay quiet if he or his members get hurt

hyungwon's wife: I admire him

bitch: ...wow

bitch: you must love him very much

hyungwon's wife: ...are you serious?? have you seen my chat name??

hyungwon's wife: <<< ????

bitch: -_-

bitch: what im saying is

bitch: hyungwon must be really happy to have someone who loves him as much as you do

hyungwon's wife: um, thank you..?

hyungwon's wife: hyungwon should feel honored lmao

hyungwon's wife: he's lucky to have me hahahaa

bitch: he is :)

hyungwon's wife: ...okaaayyyy?

hyungwon's wife: kkukkung replied!!!!

bitch: im off now, so u two could properly make up and bc jooheon's already calling me

bitch: good luck byebye

hyungwon's wife: lmao w jooheon xD

hyungwon's wife: bye!!! :**


	3. real face

bitch: hey

hyungwon's wife: omgomgomg

hyungwon's wife: you're messaging me on your own accord

hyungwon's wife: omg

hyungwon's wife: no wait is there something wrong or

bitch: it still amazes me how fast you can type

bitch: look at all those words all in one second

hyungwon's wife: lmao i talk wayyy faster

hyungwon's wife: i can beat jooheon's rap record

hyungwon's wife: just less attractive and more straining to the ears

hyungwon's wife: :>

bitch: I figured

bitch: you have no selcas?

hyungwon's wife: lol i post none

bitch: why

bitch: aren't you like

bitch: "too handsome, too godlike, the heavens must be sad when I left it"

hyungwon's wife: exactly

hyungwon's wife: im too handsome it'll make people cry

hyungwon's wife: and I don't like making people cry

hyungwon's wife: I'm THAT kind O:)

bitch: or you're just unattractive

hyungwon's wife: ofc im not ugly u bitch i even model part time

bitch: oh... you do?

hyungwon's wife: um yes? and i don't post selcas because i never really saw purpose in uploading one

bitch: ..i dont believe you're that handsome

hyungwon's wife: I AM

hyungwon's wife: if i could live on visuals alone, i could be with monsta x

bitch: ...sure you could

hyungwon's wife: SURE I COULD

bitch: it's monbebe selca day tom right?

bitch: prove it

hyungwon's wife: fine

hyungwon's wife: and you will regret never believing me

bitch: ..sure I would

hyungwon's wife: >:P

 

++

 

bitch: hey

bitch: this is you???

bitch: ????

hyungwon's wife: what a beautiful picture you have there

hyungwon's wife: did you take that from a museum???

hyungwon's wife: oh no wait

hyungwon's wife: haha its me

hyungwon's wife: :> eat your words yet

bitch: are you even sure this is you?

bitch: didn't you just, like Google it or something?

hyungwon's wife: tf no ofc it's me what words would I even type in the search bar to get that

bitch: i dont know?? handsome? flower boy???

hyungwon's wife: :D

hyungwon's wife: you called me handsome and a flowerboy im flattered hihihi

bitch: i should've known you were just fishing for praises

bitch: havent you gotten enough from this tweet

bitch: have you seen your followers reactions??

hyungwon's wife: yep and tbh I'm really embarrassed

hyungwon's wife: i never knew it could attract so much attention

hyungwon's wife: im not good with getting praised like this

hyungwon's wife: im really embarrassed

hyungwon's wife: you shouldnt have provoked me to upload it ////

bitch: whatever

bitch: you like the attention don't even try to deny it

hyungwon's wife: you know me well kermit

hyungwon's wife: im just not used to this much praise lololol

bitch: k.

hyungwon's wife: but it's unfair where's YOUR selca

hyungwon's wife: you saw my face where's yours

bitch: im... less attractive than you are

hyungwon's wife: nobody is as attractive as me kermit

hyungwon's wife: PIC

hyungwon's wife: PIC

hyungwon's wife: PIC

hyungwon's wife: PIC

bitch: fine fine stop spamming

hyungwon's wife: :D

hyungwon's wife: :D

hyungwon's wife: :D

bitch: don't insult

hyungwon's wife: I won't!!!! <3

bitch:

bitch: :P

hyungwon's wife: wow

hyungwon's wife: where the fuck did you get that hyungwon selca

hyungwon's wife: it's not in any of my hyungwon selca folders

hyungwon's wife: where the fuck did you get that hyungwon selca??!!?

bitch: secret :--)

hyungwon's wife: i want to get angry at you because i really expected that you would give me your selca and you didn't

hyungwon's wife: but hyungwon is just too fucking beautiful

hyungwon's wife: my eyes are blessedt

hyungwon's wife: and i understand if you're uncomfy w me seeing your face

bitch: lmao

bitch: wait i g2g we're gonna be prerecording perf stuff

hyungwon's wife: lol

hyungwon's wife: who are you really roleplaying?? kermit or hyungwon?? xDD

hyungwon's wife: have fun!!! :**

bitch: thanks u too :*

 

++

 

Minhyuk lazes in his bed alone as always, scrolling on his feed and liking every monbebe selca he sees, lowkey amazed at how pretty all his mutuals are. He never really thinks anyone could be ugly unless they have an ugly personality. Personality is what matters most to Minhyuk.

His eye catches a familiar username and he squeals. It was his bb Kkukkung!!! His Kkukkung also uploaded a selca with a considerable amount of retweets and likes. His internet connection has such bad timing though, and Minhyuk huffs in annoyance while waiting for it to load. Like him, it'll be Kkukkung's first time to upload a selca.

He clicks on the post and waits, at the same time, daydreaming about what his internet best friend would look like. Would he be on the chubby side? or a bit on lithe side?

The picture finally appears and his jaws fell slack.

 

The door to his dorm room slams open, revealing his roommate sporting a black expression.

"...Minmin?"

Minhyuk lets his eyes meet the younger's, grip on his phone loosening.

"KKUKKUNG?!"

.


	4. jack of all trades

"So Minmin... is Minhyuk hyung?" Changkyun confirms, closing the door behind him and walking towards his bed. Minhyuk nods.

"And Kkukkung is Changkyun?" he asks back. The other nods, "Oh."

"Yep," Changkyun blinks, contemplating. "I seriously have no idea what to do next,"

Minhyuk laughs, breaking the tense atmosphere, "Actually, same."

"But where'd you get your nickname?" Minhyuk tilts his head cutely.

"Remember I said something about already meeting Monsta X in a fansign?" Minhyuk hums to indicate he was following his thoughts, "Wonho nicknamed me that. He said I looked like a puppy,"

"He  _what_ ," Minhyuk gapes at him and he shouts, "Who what?! Wonho what?!"

"I know," Changkyun can relate to him, some tears starting to pool in his eyes, "Wonho gave  _me_  a  _nickname_  and I never felt so fucking honored in my life, hyung. I wanted to die right there. I must have like, saved my country in my past life to be so  _lucky_."

"Did you touch Jooheon?" Minhyuk glomps Changkyun on his bed, taking the chance to interrogate Kkukkung (or just, Changkyun) on his encounter with his dream boys.

"I did," Changkyun mutters weakly, choking back on his tears and blissful memories, "I poked his dimples,"

Minhyuk screams.

++

"This feels..." Minhyuk trails off as he chooses what unhealthy food he'll stuff himself with as a poor excuse of lunch, "That you're Kkukkung, I mean."

Changkyun hums in confused agreement, on another aisle choosing on the healthier salad choices that Minhyuk can never afford. "Feels what? Surreal?"

".. weird." Minhyuk mumbles, "This feels weird,"

"Why?" Changkyun picks up a very suspicious looking pink salad. But Minhyuk told him once that pink can never be wrong, so he trusts his hyung in his decisions.

"My internet best friend is my roommate and easy-to-annoy dongsaeng," Minhyuk appears, holding a ramen packet. "Too... coincidental?"

Changkyun shrugs, "It's not like this information will change our friendship, right?"

The younger turns his head at the silence, "Right?" he repeats.

Minhyuk only sighs, "I guess?" They line up on the counter to pay. And as they set their warmed meals down on a table, Changkyun deemed it best to have a sincere talk with his friend.

"What's bothering you?"

"..Nothing," Minhyuk blows on his noodles. "Just thinking,"

"About?"

"You," Minhyuk shrugs, chewing. "Me, mostly,"

He continues, "I'm most probably not going to talk to you as often anymore online,"

"Well, yeah. I guess there is no need for us to talk online?" Changkyun picks up his fork, "And? Isn't that better? Me with you and our boys and all. It helps condition you to talking to real life people again,"  _After that incident._

Minhyuk only blinks, "No, I'm not worried about that. I'm improving on my own," he breathes, "I'm just scared that I'll start to lose interest in Kkukkung."

Changkyun raises an eyebrow.

"Meeting 'Kkukkung' was like, my current fanboy dream." Minhyuk made hand quotation marks. "But now, I've met Kkukkung and I seriously don't, I have  _no_  idea what's next,"

"Go on,"

Minhyuk runs a hand through his hair, "I'm scared that I'll get bored with you."

The younger only grunts to answer his confession, "Then I'll make sure you never get bored of me,"

"That's not easy. I have the shortest, most annoying attention span ever,"

Changkyun rolls his eyes, "I think you're a good friend, hyung. So please stop worrying your tiny brain. It may overheat,"

Minhyuk whines in protest.

"And whatever you say, whatever shit you do, I'll stay," Changkyun averts his eyes, "Even if you get bored of me or something. I'll still be here. That is, if you do get bored. Which is, in a word, impossible because I'm the most interesting person in the world and I never fail with variety,"

"Go ahead, be bored with Kkukkung for all I care but it doesn't change the fact that Changkyun is Kkukkung and he'll still be there for Minmin," he stabs on a pink leaf with a little more force than necessary.

Minhyuk smiles, genuine relief on his face. It was baseless, Changkyun's promises, but it brought him, a very impulsive, indecisive him, relief. Even for just a bit. "Why?"

"Because that's what friends are for,"

"And if I get bored of you someday and leave you?"

"You won't,"

"What made you think so?" Minhyuk laughs.

"Because I won't leave you so you'll be forced to not leave me," Changkyun huffs, angrily munching on his salad, "I'll stay loyal to you. That's it. Conversation ended."

Minhyuk grins a rare, sincere sunshine grin. He wraps his arms around Changkyun's head, "Aigoo, my dongsaeng. When did you become this cute?"

The younger complains that he was getting suffocated so Minhyuk lets him go.

"What brought this on, anyway?" Changkyun finishes his food.

Minhyuk bit his lip, thinking if he should say it to his friend or not. But his friend had opened his heart to him in his little tantrum so it's just fair to open his heart, too and just be honest.

"I have a mini modelling offer for Sunday. Or tomorrow. Both works fine,"

Changkyun sips on the older's ramyeon. "And you're going?"

Minhyuk felt a sense of deja vú with the other's words.

You see, Minhyuk, all-around, extremely talented Minhyuk, has started and abandoned a lot of things. He does things mostly on whims. During grade school, he took up volleyball after seeing his mother' old recorded games (she was a volleyball player). Few months later, after seeing a kpop group on television, he took up dance and singing in hopes of being an idol. In high school, he gave it up and did archery. He got bored and did a bit of modelling after he had some offers for his gorgeous face and height. After his weak modelling peak, he decided to repractice his drawing skills and ended up in art, where he is at the moment. He abandoned a lot of skills, to name some, his guitar lessons, his Taekwondo lessons, his violin lessons, his potential in poster making, video editing, songwriting, etc.

Minhyuk is both interested and bored of almost all things at the same time. He has no problems with making friends but he has great difficulty maintaining relationships. He just gets interested and bored easily. People included in the roster of 'almost all things'.

And after his heartbreak and meeting Changkyun, he started hating himself for it. He became very insecure and closed himself off. He hated knowing just how much he wasted away his time and how many great people he left just to entertain himself. He hated remembering the fact that when he regrets having ever left his most important things, he has no one to go back to because he was nothing but a selfish coward.

"You know," Changkyun sips on Minhyuk's milk tea, "I don't think you being so all-around is bad."

"Have you heard what Mark called me back then? He called me a jack-of-all-trades," Minhyuk snorts, "A master of  _none_. That's not a compliment."

"And neither is it an insult," the younger argues, "As long as you use all your skills wisely. Like your skills in video editing, create hyungwonho fmvs. Your skills in writing, write smut hyungwonho fanfics!"

"Hyungwonho is my notp," Minhyuk deadpans, clearly unimpressed.

"My point is," Changkyun opens Minhyuk's bread and bites, "Do you hate what you're doing now? Do you hate living with art and all that?"

"...no,"

"Is being a great artist your dream at the moment?"

"...yes,"

"Then pursue that dream, first. Then you can pursue your other dreams. At least you have a stable ground to return to after all the shit you wish to enter. It's okay to entertain your many hobbies once in a while as long as it doesn't get in the way of your future. You've changed, Minhyuk hyung. You're doing well and I trust you. I don't think indulging yourself once in a while will magically destroy all steps of regret you've taken,"

Minhyuk closes his mouth, only then realizing it was open all along, "You're genius,"

"I know,"

"I'll go prepare for the shoot tomorrow then. Thank you, Changkyun." he scrambles to his feet.

"But don't you have a painting homework due on Monday?!" Changkyun shouts after him. Minhyuk most probably heard him and just ignored him.

His friend deserves some freedom so whatever. He just hopes for the best for his sad friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was like a filler chapter? xD


	5. runway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know absolutely nothing abt modelling ok dont kill me

Minhyuk taps his feet patiently on the floor. Yes, patiently. He was waiting for the director to call their names for the practice run as patiently as he can manage. No, he was not stressed about his first walk in years. Yes, he was stressed about his homework he intentionally forgot. He may come off as an easygoing person but he values his education. Or not. Maybe a little.

"Lee Minhyuk?"

His name was called, signalling it was his turn for his makeovers, and that pricked his bubble of thoughts. He makes to approach the dressing room until he heard a  _very_  familiar name called in the same manner his was called.

_"Chae Hyungwon?"_

Minhyuk whips his head to look at the tall man gracefully taking a seat. And holy  _shit_ , Minhyuk wanted to die. It was  _the_  Chae Hyungwon. The man of his moist fanboy dreams. His sunshine. His angel. His gorgeous babe in all his godlike glory, just several meters away from him, beauty not shunned by his iPad screen and as impossible as he thought he would be.

Thanks to his excellent vision he almost always uses for stupid things, Minhyuk could see just how  _fine_  his idol was. He looked like a regal prince on a throne when he is only sitting on a lousy chair for his makeup. Still, Minhyuk couldn't help but gawk.

"Minhyuk?" the makeup artist calls for his attention and Minhyuk shakes his head, considerably nervous for a whole different reason. He sits in a chair he was guided to and let the girl start to work.

"You know him?" she asks, tone friendly. This was the girl Minhyuk befriended earlier out of his boredom when they were both too early for the preparations. So they were on chatting terms. "I heard he's popular. An idol. He's really handsome,"

"He is," Minhyuk mutters, trying his best not to stare at the owner of the face whose selca he retweeted just a few hours ago, "I'm his fan,"

"Oh, you are?" she smiles, "Then it must be your lucky day,"

"Noo-na," his voice breaks, "I'm really nervous right now. I'm sweating,"

She hums, "Just make sure you don't sweat too much so your makeup won't come off,"

"I want to approach him," he confesses, "No, wait. I can't. I think I'll faint. I should be satisfied just breathing the same air as him," he inhales deeply.

The girl laughs, swatting at his arm, "Don't move too much, idiot."

"...do you think I'm ugly?" Minhyuk asks, feeling insecure at the presence of the object of his one-sided affection. (Nevermind that Hyungwon couldn't see him and will most probably just ignore his presence.)

The girl snorts, turning off the hair blower, "After I just did my best to give you a makeover?"

"That's not what I'm talking about," he glares half-heartedly at the other through the mirror.

"I know," she chuckles, "I think you're handsome. Very. Now go away. I'm done with you,"

"Handsome enough to be in Chae Hyungwon's presence?" he stands up, looking over to where his dream boy has been.

"Yes," she pushes him outside, "Deserving. Very! Out you go!"

Minhyuk thanks her before finally going to where the models go to be oriented.

 

++

 

Minhyuk knew Chae Hyungwon was perfect. But not  _this_  perfect.

He gapes as he watches Hyungwon do his thing. Gracefully walking the runway as if he was there born and raised to be the epitome of  _too perfect_.

Every step the taller makes has Minhyuk's heart skip a beat and affection run deeper for him. Minhyuk never knew he could be awed by a person as much as Chae Hyungwon allowed him. And the younger allowed a ridiculous lot. His respect levels for Hyungwon just went through the roof. whattaman.mp3. perfect man.mp3.

Minhyuk wipes the drool dripping from his mouth. Whoops. No wonder the guy behind him was looking at him weirdly. But he really couldn't help but drool for Hyungwon. He was too beautiful and goddamn sexy in those pants, emphasizing his long, lithe legs, with that cursed low cut shirt and collarbones. Non-fanboys will  _never_  understand.

They went back to their places after their rehearsal and the director announced that the show would start soon, but Minhyuk's mind was filled with only Chae Hyungwon and his blessed hands. How he wish he was that bag Hyungwon held.

 

++

 

The show was finally over, pictures were finished taken and many have already said their goodbyes. Minhyuk heard that Hyungwon had left early and he tried his best not to be so disappointed to waste his chance to ogle at him for a bit longer.

He stops just outside the event hall where the show took place, observing that there were only a few people strolling around.

 _Okay_ , he sighs.  _One last sniff._

Minhyuk inhales the air he shared with Chae Hyungwon as deeply as he can, trying to motivate himself.

"Look at the bright side, Minhyuk," he giggles, "You saw Chae Hyungwon for  _free_. No wait, you got  _paid_  to see him perform. You got  _paid_  to see  _him_. Good job," he hugs himself, not giving any flying fucks at the people who judge him for mumbling and hugging himself in the middle of a street. "There's always a next time to meet him. And you should work hard for that 'next time'!" he mentally cheers and starts to walk back home when something catches his eye.

It was Chae Hyungwon,  _again_. Leaning into what was presumably a black, company van, in an oversized coat and is holy fucking  _fuck_ , staring back at  _him_.

Minhyuk's breath hitches and he frantically looks to his left and right and back to confirm if he was the one being stared at.

There was no one else around him.

It really was him being stared at.

He locks eye contact with the other once more and he lets out an embarrassing gasp when Hyungwon sends him a small wave and a bashful smile.

He was halfway into shutting down after that overload of feels when Hyungwon's manager ushers him inside the car and drives off.

Minhyuk stares at where the car has just been for another ten minutes before sighing. Then screaming.

RIP Lee Minhyuk   
Cause of Death: Chae Hyungwon's soft cheeks which is emphasized when he smiles.

 

++

 

He taps away once he takes a seat on a bus, intent of letting all his feelings out to Changkyun or whoever. He needs to let his feels out now or he'll  _explode_.

He remembers that Changkyun has an exam tomorrow morning and is most probably studying right now so he clicks on his second option to bother at nine in the evening.

hyungwon's wife: KERMIT!!!!!!

bitch: yes

hyungwon's wife: YOU WONT BELIEVE

hyungwon's wife: WHAT HAPPEND TO ME

hyungwon's wife changed its name to 'screaMIN'.

bitch: lmao what happened

screaMIN: CHAE HYUNGWON

screaMIN: HAPPENED

screaMIN: FUCK

screaMIN: UM SI HAPPY

screaMIN: IM SO

bitch: omg god chill

screaMIN: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CHILL

screaMIN: IM SQUEALING SO HARD

screaMIN: THE QUESTION HERE IS WHY ARE YOU CHILL

screaMIN: WHY ARE U NOT SQUEALING TOO

screaMIN: SQUEALS

screaMIN: HE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I REALLY CRIED

bitch: lmao

bitch: you're cute when you're surprised

screaMIN: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

screaMIN: YOU THINK ME SCREAMING IS CUTE YOU ALWAYS GET WEIRDER

bitch: ..I'm not talking about you, screaming and all.

screaMIN: THEN WHATRE YOU TALKING ABT

bitch: ...nothing. don't mind it. it was a wrong send sorry

screaMIN: oh

screaMIN: oki

screaMIN: CHAE HYUNGWON WAS SO PERFECT HOW THE FUCK HE

_\--_


	6. art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watch me insert my mx ships agenda into this fic, i mean did you see this story's tags lmao

Call Minhyuk cheesy all you want, but he is dead intent on passing his homework.

His homework doesn't really involve painting, like Changkyun put it. Actually, the professor most probably doesn't care whatever medium he uses. The homework's goal was for them to express what the word "beautiful" is for them presently. And that before finishing the subject they'll draw what is "beautiful" for them again so they could see the effects of taking the subject to their appreciation of their surroundings and perceptions through art.

And so it was only natural for Minhyuk to draw himself.

"This is 'beautiful' for you?" the professor asks, amused. Minhyuk nods enthusiastically.

"And it's a sketch? Didn't I give you two weeks to finish this?"

"Yes," Minhyuk smiles. It's not like his professor needs to know that he only did the work in less than two hours before his classes start, not two weeks.

The old man hums, redirecting his eyes on his work, a Minhyuk bust up.

"For you.." the sitting man starts, "The most beautiful person is yourself?"

"Oh, no no." Minhyuk denies quickly, "You said only "beautiful", sir. Not "most beautiful person","

"I've always assigned this homework," The man chuckles, "People usually draw people or things they admire or love. You're a first,"

"It's an honor, sir."

The man laughs and tells him to go back to his seat.

 

++

 

"Wonho hyung," Kihyun sighs, "You're heavy. Please let go of me,"

"Noooo," said Wonho hyung complains, arms tightening around Kihyun's waist, head burying deeper to the juncture of Kihyun's neck and shoulder. "Don'f wanna," he mutters, muffled by the shorter's skin. Kihyun resists the urge to shiver at the tickling sensation.

"I'm trying to cook ramyeon for  _you_ ," Kihyun nags again, exasperatedly. "The least you can do is actually allow me to move,"

After a beat of silence, the older reluctantly let's him go, opting to just rest his hand on the small of Kihyun's back with a pout on his plump lips. Kihyun only rolls his eyes at him.

It's not like Kihyun hated people touching him. He likes touching others too but to some extent. So he  _does_  welcome skinship and enjoys it. Just... not like this. When the man of his well kept affections initiate touch with him but always with sad reasons. Sad reasons more often than not, being lonely and sad because of a fight with a certain beautiful Chae Hyungwon. Sad reasons meaning Kihyun isn't the first person Hoseok wants to be in close proximity with but he has no choice because his first person gives him the cold shoulder. Sad reasons meaning Kihyun is the one to comfort him out of all these even if the younger hates the bitter envy washing over him every single time.

But it's not like Kihyun can say no to Hoseok.

So it's a sad cycle.

And he deserves to be at least a little bit cold to Hoseok so he could preserve any last speck of control he has over his feelings.

"What did you do to Hyungwon again?" Kihyun unwraps the noodles. 

"Why do you always assume that I'm the one at fault?" Hoseok crosses his arms.

"Was that a rhetorical question?" Kihyun raises an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I know I'm not the one at fault this time," the older huffs, "I'm just angry because he never looks away from his iPod; that he never gives any attention towards me,"

"..you know," Kihyun laughs, stirring the contents of the pot, "I was really surprised when you said you weren't the one at fault but then I realized just how unreasonable you are,"

"Hey!"

Kihyun shakes his head. Stupid, stupid Hoseok with his stupid, stupid cuteness and stupid, soft heart.

"Hyungwon just wants to enjoy what little time he has been given for himself," He turns off the stove, "Whatever he's preoccupied with has drawn his full attention. Sadly, you aren't enough to draw him away from whatever he's doing,"  _But for me, you are enough to draw me away and distract me from just anything, god damn it._

Hoseok claps excitedly at the cooked food as Kihyun brings it to the table. The older sets down his spoon and bowl and takes a seat. At the same time, Hyungwon enters the kitchen with his gadget on his fingers.

"Food?" Hyungwon asks with hopeful eyes and Hoseok invites him to sit so he could share his food with him.

Kihyun shakes his head, a small smile on his lips, "It seems like food  _can_  draw him away from his screen. Food just beat you, hyung. It's funny," he chuckles and Hoseok glares at him.

Kihyun makes to leave when hears Hoseok call his name.

"Kihyun? You aren't going to eat with us?"

Kihyun turns around, "No. I'm okay. You guys spend some quality time alone like you wanted. I'm going to sleep. Enjoy your food," and he exits.

There was silence save for Hyungwon slurping on his food.

"What was with what Kihyun said before that?" Hyungwon queries, drawing Hoseok's attention from where he had been staring at the space Kihyun had left.

"Huh," Hoseok glances down at his bowl, "Oh, it was nothing. Don't mind it,"

Hyungwon looks at him with suspicion in his eyes before focusing back down on his ramyeon. "Fine. But what's with Kihyun? He looks like he's always constipated when he's with you. Or something,"

"He isn't constipated," Hoseok says defensively, "Maybe he's just troubled,"

"About what?" Hyungwon narrows his eyes at him, _"What did you do?"_

"Why does everyone assume that it's always my fault?" Hoseok whines.

Hyungwon blinks, unimpressed, "You know why,"

"I'm an oversensitive asshat. I know. But not always!" Hoseok sighs, "But maybe this time, it  _is_  my fault,"

He looks at where Kihyun stood previously with longing.

"Just that I don't even know what to be sorry for,"

 

++

 

bitch: i have a new question for you today

screaMIN: ?? :DDD

bitch: what are your ships in monsta x

screaMIN: ??!!??! :DDDDDD


	7. sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone save hoseok lmao

screaMIN: are you really sure you want to talk ships with me

screaMIN: there's no turning back you know

bitch: lmao ok ok but choose first

bitch: hyungwonho or kiho

screaMIN: kiho

screaMIN: for me hyungwonho is eh

bitch: showki or kiho

bitch: how come??

screaMIN: kiho

screaMIN: kiho is mah otp

screaMIN: I don't like hyungwonho

screaMIN: because i ship hyungwon with myself

screaMIN: HAHAHAHAHAH

bitch: lol nice

screaMIN: wonho is actually my bias at first

screaMIN: he's my second bias now

bitch: ...why did you change lanes?

screaMIN: that

screaMIN: is for next time

screaMIN: it's a long story :DD

screaMIN: next questionnnn

bitch: you don't ship anyone w jooheon?

screaMIN: i ship him with Kkukkung

screaMIN: now that you mention it

screaMIN: I may go back to wonho lane soon

bitch: what

bitch: why

bitch: did hyungwon do anything wrong????

bitch: hey answer me

bitch: HEY

bitch: MINMIN HEY

screaMIN: lmao sorry i fell asleep for a bit

screaMIN: lol its normal i change lanes easily im a very impulsive person

screaMIN: I sometimes spazz wonho

screaMIN: then I go back to hyungwon

screaMIN: i always go back to hyungwon anyway

screaMIN: he mah ultimate bias

bitch: ...oh

screaMIN: but i like saw him the other day

screaMIN: omg I'm squealing so hard again

screaMIN: and he was so perfect

screaMIN: maybe im not changing lanes any time soon

bitch: ...

bitch: ... okay

screaMIN: im a very impulsive person

screaMIN: now that you know that

screaMIN: pls don't leave me D:

bitch: lmao no it's ok im not going anywhere

screaMIN: :DDDD

screaMIN: love u kermit

bitch: lmao yeah sure same

bitch: youre already sleepy right? go to sleep

screaMIN: okiee

screaMIN: sleep well kermit

screaMIN: dream of minmin :**

bitch: thatll be a nightmare

screaMIN: gaSP

screaMIN: no!!! it'll be the sweetest dream you'll have ever

screaMIN: good night!!! <333

bitch: good night

++

"Jooheon,"

Jooheon glances towards his Wonho hyung who sat beside him on the sofa.

"Is it just me..." the older licks his lips nervously, "Or is Hyungwon looking at me like he wants to kill me?"

Jooheon furrows his eyebrows in confusion and follows to where Hoseok was looking at. He sees a Hyungwon standing near the living room doorframe with his iPod in his hands and, indeed, glaring at Hoseok with so much venom.

"What did you do?" Jooheon refocuses his eyes on the television screen playing reruns of sappy dramas he secretly liked.

"Would you believe me if I told you I've already been told that for three times just in one day?" he whispers to him, "I didn't do anything!"

Jooheon hums, unbelieving.

"We were eating ramyeon together earlier," Hoseok explains, "We had small talk- actually a one-sided talk because he was too absorbed in his iPod- but then his expression turns sour with something he saw on his screen. And he's been glaring at me like that ever since!"

"Why don't you ask him about it?" the younger suggests.

"I don't want to die,"

"Nonsense, hyung." Jooheon snorts, "He won't kill you. If you die, Monsta X will be over,"

Hoseok whines like a puppy and hugs Jooheon for last bits of courage. The younger pats his thigh encouragingly.

"Hyungwon!" Hoseok calls the visual.

Hyungwon, in turn, eases his glower into that of a blank expression. Before walking away. Just like that.

"What," Jooheon mutters, "That was weird,"

Hoseok continues to fear for his life.

++

Hyungwon flops on his bed, shaking his head. Why was he so bitter with Hoseok? It's not like he's jealous that Minmin likes Hoseok, too besides him, right?

He looks at his screen again, seeing Minmin's reply of _'lmao sorry I fell asleep for a bit'._

He types and sends a reply, unnoticing a small form entering his shared room.

"Who are you talking to?"

Hyungwon flinches so hard he almost dropped his gadget from his top bunk.

He glares at Kihyun who looked up at him innocently, as if he hadn't surprised the life out of him.

"Who are you talking to?" the older repeats.

Hyungwon covers his screen discreetly as possible. "A co-worker,"

Can he call Minmin that? Maybe it's a bit far-fetched, but they  _were_  both models who have already worked together numerous times, just that Minhyuk was never aware of his presence until the day before yesterday.

"A co-worker? Do I know him or her?"

"No," he replies, tone clipped.

Kihyun raises a suspicious eyebrow but hums in understanding all the same.

"You do know that we're in a dating ban, right?"

"Of course," Hyungwon looks away from him, replying to Minmin's message, "It's just a friend,"

" _A friend_ ," Kihyun repeats, tone flat. "Sure, it's just a friend,"

Hyungwon resists the urge to roll his eyes at the smaller male. "Yes, a friend."

"Then why are you hiding your screen from me?" Kihyun smirks, smug.

Hyungwon opens his mouth to retort something along the lines of okay, here I'll show you my screen, but then he takes a glance at their chat with the hearts and kiss emojis and no, it wasn't safe for the midget's viewing. He clears his throat.

"Why are you so interested in invading other people's privacy?" he asks as a mimic of the other's question.

Kihyun snorts, taking steps to go out of the bedroom, "Fine. I'll find out who that girl is soon, anyway,"

"It's a guy,"

Kihyun turns around to face him one last time, "Actually. I know. Have fun being homo," he grins at him before he shuts the door.

Hyungwon blinks. Did Kihyun just... reveal to him that he knows of his sexuality?

He shakes his head the second time that night. Eh, it's not like Kihyun made his preferences a big issue. And it's not like Kihyun is any different. So he closes his eyes to succumb to his sleepiness, pushing the topic of his homosexuality for when the time comes, demanding for its resolution.


	8. reveal

 

screaMIN: hey kermit

bitch: yes?

screaMIN: who is the most beautiful person for you

bitch: pfft what a question

screaMIN: well who?

bitch: it's you.

screaMIN: asjdklhq

screaMIN: kERMIT DONT DO THAT MY POOR HEART MIGHT JUST BELIEVE YOUR LIES

bitch: lmao im not lying

screaMIN: but im a guy

bitch: and you being called beautiful just because youre a guy is weird???

screaMIN: lol not really no I think the same

screaMIN: stop it with using all the opportunities to insult my fragile masculinity because I DONT HAVE A FRAGILE MASCULINITY

screaMIN: still your answer blew my mind

screaMIN: but really

screaMIN: who is it

bitch: why do your questions keep getting weirder everytime we chat

screaMIN: like your questions aren't any weirder :P

bitch: well who is it for YOU?

screaMIN: chae hyungwon ofc i cant believe you really asked

bitch: how would i even know it'd be chae hyungwon

bitch: i was expecting it to be your mom or smth

screaMIN: no it's chae hyungwon

screaMIN: my mom is the awesomest

bitch: oh

screaMIN: i got an offer for a cf do u think I should go

bitch: lol why not

screaMIN: i have a paper due this week

bitch: then do it now??

screaMIN: but im talking to you

bitch: then don't talk to me??

screaMIN: D:

screaMIN: don't be like that kermit

screaMIN: i like talking to you

screaMIN: its like you're always pushing me away

screaMIN: am I bothering you? :(

screaMIN: im sorry TT

bitch: nononono no

bitch: that's not it sorry

bitch: you're not bothering me!

bitch: i love talking to you about random things

bitch: probably way more than how you do

bitch: im just... really

screaMIN: really what

bitch: ... maybe next time?

screaMIN: oh

screaMIN: okay

screaMIN: change topic?

bitch: yes :>

screaMIN: i want a hyungwon selca

bitch: ?

screaMIN: it's been decades since he last posted

bitch: monsta x just debuted less than two years ago

screaMIN: im wilting without hyungwon I need my fanboy fix

screaMIN: how come you don't need your jooheon fix

Hyungwon snorts. No, he doesn't really always need his Jooheon fix when the younger is almost always with him. Like right now, in the van and on their trip to a broadcasting station.

bitch: wait

screaMIN: oki oki

 

Hyungwon scrolls through his camera roll for a few forgotten selcas he had taken. Forgotten in the sense that he took it to post but always forgets to post for monbebes. He realizes that he had neglected having offered his fans his precious selcas, so he took it upon himself to post at the moment.

 

bitch: hyungwon uploaded a new selca

bitch:

screaMIN: oH MY GOD THATS SO FUCKING PRETTY HOLY SHIT

bitch: minmin you should cleanse your mouth sometimes istg

screaMIN: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY U DONT UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY HES THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

screaMIN: BECAUSE HE IS

screaMIN: I REALLY LOVE HIM

bitch: lol

bitch: hyungwon loves u too

screaMIN: dont be jelly i love u too kermit

bitch: ok what

bitch: im not jelly

bitch: but fine

bitch: i love u too minmin :P

screaMIN: that's official we're an otp now

 

Hyungwon flushes because did he really just, confess. On chat.

He shakes his head. It's not like Minmin was serious. He was just kidding. Sadly, unlike Hyungwon. It wasn't unusual for his jokes to range to this extreme that Hyungwon blushes like a schoolgirl flirting with a crush on text.

A notification popped up and it was Minmin who tweeted. He has notifications on for Minmin. Someone save him.

 

_me and kermit are a thing now quick someone think of a ship name for us_

_@screaminhyung WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I WAS NEVER INFORMED I SHALL NEVER APPROVE_

_@jookkung GO AWAY KKUKKUNG YOU CANT STOP OUR LOVE_

_@jookkung @screaminhyung pls stop u guys are embarrassing_

_@TheHumanKermit @screaminhyung YOU NEVER TOLD ME ANY OF THIS KERMIT IM BETRAYED I THOT WE'RE CLOSE_

_@jookkung @screaminhyung don't listen to minmin he's full of lies_

_@TheHumanKermit @jookkung I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS REAL KERMIT DONT DENY IT_

_@screaminhyung @jookkung I'm just an innocent frog I don't deserve this maltreatment_

 

Hyungwon smiles to himself,  amused at their three way banter. He opens Minmin's new message.

 

screaMIN: we should have a ship name

screaMIN: but i refuse to combine Minhyuk with 'kermit'

screaMIN: it's like I'm shipping myself to a fucking puppet

bitch: oh your name's Minhyuk?

bitch: it's nice it fits you

screaMIN: hihi thanks only a few of my loyal mutuals know

screaMIN changed his name to 'minyuck'.

minyuck: what really is your name tho

bitch: oh that

bitch: is a secret

minyuck: !!!!! 

minyuck: no fair!!!!!

minyuck: you know mine why cant i know yours?!!??!!

bitch: lol

 

Hyungwon glances around the van to see no one sparing him any attention. The maknae beside him, Jooheon and Shownu listening to their music on their individual gadgets and Kihyun leaning his head on Hoseok's shoulder, being a very soft and heartwarming, fluffy sight.

Hyungwon licks his lips nervously. Should he...?

 

bitch: fine but you gotta believe me ok

minyuck: ???? why wont i believe your name lol

bitch: bc its not believable for you duh

minyuck: hit me w your best shot frog

bitch: -_-

bitch: i am chae hyungwon

minyuck: and i am what i am, man.

minyuck: tf

bitch: isn't that kkukkung's phrase when he does rap covers

minyuck: you could just have told me you could never trust me

minyuck: told, not make me feel like you dont want me to know you and hurt me like this

minyuck: this is exactly why i have trust issues

bitch: ok hang on there drama queen

bitch: my name is really chae hyungwon

bitch: im honest. im not crazy nor do i not trust you.

minyuck: .....

minyuck: like, same name?

bitch: no

bitch: like, the SAME person

minyuck: ok thats it its final im not gonna talk to u anymore

bitch: what no 

bitch: wait

bitch: MINHYUK

bitch: DONT SEENZONE ME 

bitch: YOU WANTED ME TO BE HONEST I WAS BEING HONEST

bitch: I DO NOT DESERVE THIS

bitch: bitch

bitch: oh wait youre back

minyuck: go to hell

minyuck changes the name 'bitch' to 'asshole'.

asshole: !!!!

asshole: minhyuk!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fast paced?? i kno lol


	9. regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: crying wonho

Hyungwon was, in a word:

Fucking distraught.

Okay, that wasn't a  _word_  but it was still what Hyungwon perfectly feels. He regrets ever saying who he was to Minhyuk. He regrets hiding his identity from the start. He regrets having gone out of his way and talked to an interesting fan and became so invested in becoming friends and being so attached with said fan. Said extremely attractive and funny fan also known as Lee Minhyuk.

Because now he was really upset.

\--

 

"Hey," Jooheon pokes Kihyun's cheek to catch his attention, "Why is Hyungwon hyung so gloomy?"

"I don't know," Kihyun hums, standing up straight. "But I have a question for you, too,"

The older drops the vacuum he was using to clean the floor, on Jooheon's thick thighs. "Would it kill you to clean for once?"

Jooheon groans, he should have known better than to ask the older when he was in his pissed-off-while-cleaning state. "You just gotta ask," Jooheon mumbles, picking up the machine in his lap.

"That's the thing," Kihyun growls. "I  _have_  to  _ask_. You can't do anything on your own accord!"

Jooheon purses his lips and starts to work, a bit guilty because of what the older said, which was true.

"Hyungwon!" Kihyun shouts angrily, "Get out of your bed and move your lazy ass around the dorm! And don't pretend you can't hear me! I'll take away your iPod!"

Moments later, Hyungwon appears bringing a gloomy aura with him, "Go ahead. Take away my iPod. It's not like I'm using it anyway," he sighs before heading towards the kitchen to wash the day-old dishes.

Kihyun only frowns. Then he proceeds to shout, "Shownu hyung! Clean the bathroom while you're in there! Hoseok hyung! Clean the mess on your bedroom's floor!"

"But this mess is Hyungwon's!" a muffled shout.

"So what?!" Kihyun stomps towards the said bedroom, fuming. "Does that also mean that I'm the only one who lives here?! Because I'm the only one who cleans in this dorm!"

Kihyun enters the room and an endless bickering ensues. Jooheon shakes his head in mental apology, regretting making Kihyun snap to his other members.

 

\--

Hoseok should have stopped.

He knows he should have, but his mouth and burst of madness didn't let him anyway.

And now as he stares at Kihyun whose lips were trembling and tears threatening to burst out of his eyes, he couldn't help but hate himself.

"Fine," Kihyun says after a minute of terse silence, silence where Hoseok should have already said  _sorry_  but  _of_   _course_  he didn't. He regrets it so much he wanted to cry, "Fine. I'm sorry you feel t-that way." the younger stutters. "I'm sorry. I won't give  _demands_  on you anymore," he chokes out a sob before he runs out of the door.

Hoseok clenches his fist and jaw so hard it hurt. But it was nothing compared to what he inflicted on the main vocalist.

 

\--

 

_"We're taking a break, Kihyun. It's called a day-off for a reason,"_

_"A break?" Kihyun laughs, "I don't get it. If it's a break how come I still get tired from all this housework,'_

_Hoseok snaps, "Why do you act so high and mighty?!"_

_"You're the one acting mighty here! Just because you're older doesn't mean I can tolerate you lying around and letting others do the work like a king with slaves!" Kihyun shouts louder._

_"So I'm the king now?!" Hoseok growls, "Just because you shoulder all our work doesn't mean you can go controlling our personal lives, too!"_

_"Hoseok, what the hell?! Being an idol and housework are two different things-"_

_"Shut up! I'm tired of you acting like you're the only one who does everything! Stop acting like you deserve all the credit you get! Stop acting like we're nothing but a nuisance for you!"_

_Hoseok continues his rage, heart already starting to sink in regret._

_"Stop acting like I don't even try! Stop being upset because I don't meet your expectations!"_

_"What-- expectations?! What are you even talking about!" Kihyun cries in disbelief._

_"You know what I'm talking about!" Hoseok wanted to cry, "You keep looking at me like I'm such a disappointment because I can't be what you want but I try! I always try to keep up with you, okay! I'm sorry I'm not as good as you! But I'm fucking trying so get out so I could clean this like you demanded me to!"_

 

\--

 

Hoseok was, in a word:

Fucking upset with himself.

That wasn't a word again, per se, but a terribly sobbing Hoseok couldn't exactly be expected to count.

"Hyung.." Hyungwon stands on the doorway, unsure of what to do with the mess that is Hoseok heaving and sniffling while folding Hyungwon's clothes. So he chose the option of just standing there awkwardly.

True enough to Hyungwon's intuition, Hoseok does start to speak up.

"I fucked up really, really bad." Hoseok mutters brokenly before another wave of tears wash over him. Hyungwon can only frown at the tears dripping into his clothes.

"Um, I kinda think so. Depending from what I heard," Hyungwon crouches down next to the older visual. "But you're not... usually like that. Did something else happen?" Hyungwon pats Hoseok's shoulder.

"I'm such an asshole," Hoseok sighs deeply, "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve people trying to understand me. I'm too much of an asshole,"

"Hyung," Hyungwon calls him, firm.

Hoseok wipes his tears, "I made him cry, didn't I? I don't deserve to even cry,"

"Hyung," Hyungwon calls again, being as patient as possible, "You aren't an asshole. Maybe this time you were an asshole but not always," he grabs his shirt on Hoseok's trembling fingers, "So could you just tell me what happened and why?"

After a few silent seconds, Hoseok finally moves his mouth. "I talked with the vocal coach and the manager." he starts slowly. Hyungwon nods to urge him to continue.

"Um. To cut it short, they said I suck,"

Hyungwon blinks. He kind of understands a bit. The criticism kept getting worse by the day and you couldn't always be optimistic and go 'I'll do better next time' because for people who has gone through with them, that's just bullshit.

"And they kept praising Kihyun. Like, Kihyun is younger than me but he's great. Kihyun is way more stable than me. That comparing to Kihyun I'm nothing but a handsome face and body," Hoseok scrunches his nose, "I mean, all of us get those and we get them all the time but it still really hurt."

Hyungwon 'ah's in understanding, "So that's where you've been earlier?" Hoseok nods, "And you vented it out on Kihyun himself?" Hoseok nods again, face also crumpling once more to cry again.

Hyungwon folds his shirt (as neatly as he possibly can), "You do know that you have to tell that to Kihyun himself, right?"

"Yep," Hoseok takes back the shirt the younger was holding so he could fold it properly, "B-but he went out, right?" he sniffles.

Hyungwon nods, "He didn't tell me where but he said he'll be back in fifteen."

Hyungwon stands up. They were finished folding his clothes and Hyungwon sensed that there was where the conversation had ended. Until he felt Hoseok tug at his wrist.

"Hyungwon.." Hoseok looks up at him from his seating on the floor, "Do you think I can even fix this?"

Hyungwon sends him an emphatic smile, "Of course,"

"Okay," Hoseok looks determined, "Okay. Thank you,"

Hyungwon shrugs, "No problem?" he helps Hoseok stand up. "I hope for the best,"

"Thanks," Hoseok sends him a weak encouraging smile, "I hope you can fix your problem, too. Now move, I need to wipe the stove,"

Hyungwon let Hoseok pass by him, staring off into space.

Was his grief too obvious?

Hyungwon sighs to himself for the fourthiet time, getting his abandoned iPod on his bed.

 

\--

 

Hyunwoo frowns a little. The dorm felt weird. It felt like there was chaos but all he can see was a perfectly clean dorm. Weird.

"Oh welcome back, hyung." Jooheon greets, appearing with a vacuum in his hands. Hyunwoo arches an eyebrow.

"Why are you holding a vacuum?"

Jooheon snorts, "What are you implying, hyung?"

Hyunwoo shakes his head, realizing that the question was a bit rude. "Where's Kihyun?"

"Went out," Jooheon shrugs. "Where have you been, hyung?"

"Vocal coach," Hyunwoo answers promptly, remembering his need to comfort Hoseok with the insults thrown at him. "I stayed for a bit so Hoseok went home earlier,"

"Me?" Hoseok appears with a feather duster, "Oh! Welcome back,"

Hyungwon also appears after two seconds, holding a laundry basket. Hyunwoo narrows his eyes at them.

"Where's Kihyun?" Hyunwoo takes off his shoes before staring Hoseok down. "What did you do?"

Hoseok whines.


	10. apology

Kihyun peeks through the door and enters the dorm as quietly as possible. It was midnight and he was positive that all the members were asleep.

Unfortunately, his thoughts were proven negative.

"Kihyun?"

Just his luck. Kihyun internally sighs, closing his eyes. Of course it would be the person he least wanted to meet at the moment whose face he would confront first.

"Kihyun?" the voice calls again, and Kihyun deems it best to answer and not let this talk delay for any longer.

"What is it, hyung?" Kihyun opens his eyes to see Hoseok removing his headphones on his head and closing his laptop, sitting on the living room couch, "Why are you still awake? We have a schedule tomorrow,"

Hoseok stands up, "I was waiting for you. You said you would be back by--"

"Save it, hyung." Kihyun interrupts. He wasn't in the mood for this yet. He knows they have to make up soon but his heart is still hurting and the sight of the older is enough to bring tears into the corner of his eyes. "Let's not talk for now. I'm tired,"

Hoseok frowns, "Where have you been?"

Kihyun clutches his fist, "Hoseok hyung, please. I told you I wouldn't bother you anymore, right? Please stop bothering me, too."

At that, Hoseok's eyes immediately soften and Kihyun grimaces. "Kihyu-"

" _Please_ ," Kihyun starts sobbing and Hoseok was stunned, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please don't talk to me," he covers his face with his palms. "I was too arrogant. I didn't appreciate you guys enough. I was overbearing. I was too  _demanding_. I know. I'm sorry," he heaves.

Hoseok was left gaping at the younger's words, not expecting the self-hate coming out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry. Please don't hate me,"

At that, Hoseok immediately snaps out of his shock and runs towards Kihyun, enveloping him into an embrace.

"Kihyun, oh my  _god_." he gushes breathlessly, arms tightening around the shorter, as if afraid that if he lets go, the younger will disappear from him. It was Kihyun's turn to be shocked still, "No. Never. I will  _never_  hate you. What the hell are you saying?" he chokes out.

"I should be the one sorry, Kihyun. I'm sorry. I'm re-really sorry. It was all my fault. I was an asshole. I'm really really sorry. Please don't feel that way," Hoseok cries into Kihyun's shirt, maintaining a death grip around his waist. "I d-didn't mean any of it. I was too angry and stupid. I was too dumb. What I told you weren't the least b-bit true. You're way more than that. I'm sorry I made you cry. I should be the one hated here. Please forgive me," Hoseok rested his forehead on Kihyun's shoulder.

After a few seconds, Hoseok could feel Kihyun lightly pushing at his chest, and so he reluctantly lets go, but still maintains his arms' place around Kihyun's lithe waist.

Hoseok sighs internally. So this was it right? Kihyun will tell him to fuck off and to not touch him after all the hurtful things that he spat out. This was the end to their friendshi--

"Hoseok hyung," Kihyun whispers brokenly, eyes closed, voice raw and fresh tears flowing through his cheeks. Hoseok swears he can hear his own heart break at the sight. He wanted nothing more than to wipe away Kihyun's tears and replace the downward curve on the younger's lips into his brightening smile. But the fact that he was the cause of it all almost made him wail.

"Hoseok hyung," Kihyun opens his eyes and looks down, licking his lips, tears still flowing, Hoseok's heart still breaking. "Don't be so apologetic. I understand. Even if you didn't mean it.. what you said was still true,"

Hoseok whines in protest, but Kihyun continues.

"I only think about myself. I only see myself and all the things I do. I never acknowledged your hard work. I was too haughty. I'm sorry. I.. don't deserve you," Kihyun's face scrunches up and he stays silent. Hoseok took it as his chance to finally speak.

"No," Hoseok says, cupping the younger's cheeks and thumbing away the tears like he wanted to do earlier. "Kihyun, no. Stop. You were just angry. People say stupid things when angry. I am a prime example,"

Hoseok wanted Kihyun to laugh, but the shorter only nods his head. Still, it was progress, "You love us so much, Kihyun. We know just how proud you are for all of us and that you take care of us in return. If anything, it would be  _me_  who doesn't deserve you!"

"Don't lie to yourself," Hoseok scolds lightly, a pout gracing his plump lips. "You must have forgotten but you told me once  _'It makes me happy seeing you guys being peaceful in a clean home_ '. You love us and we all know. We love you, too. And we can't live without you. You are this team's  _core_. I'm sorry you feel this way but you shouldn't. Please don't feel bad." he mutters a bit desperately.

Kihyun slowly lifts his gaze to meet Hoseok's eyes and nods. Hoseok knows that they will have to talk about their insecurities but for another time. What they have right now is enough for now.

"...Did you clean?" Kihyun mumbles.

Hoseok nods enthusiastically, "We felt really sorry so we all did,"

"Okay," Kihyun sighs, "Okay, you can let go of me now?"

Hoseok blinks. Indeed, his palms were still cupping the younger's cheeks and their bodies were still pressed close, but he really doesn't want to part. "No," he refuses childishly and hugs Kihyun tight once again. "'Not gonna let go," he whines.

"How old are you again?" Kihyun snorts, amused at the immaturity. He pats Hoseok's back in return.

"Where have you been, though? I was really worried," Hoseok asks with a frown Kihyun could not see, swaying the both of their bodies slightly.

"Oh. I met some friend," Kihyun presses his lips tight. "I texted the others to not wait for me,"

"You told the  _others_  which means you did not tell  _me_ ," Kihyun laughs at the pout that can be heard through the older's complaints, "Why are you guys like this? I waited all day for you in worry,"

"Maybe I  _did_  want you to worry,"

"What?" Hoseok let's go of their embrace and grabs Kihyun's shoulders to look him in the eye, "I didn't know you were that mean, Kihyun!"

Kihyun looks as shocked as Hoseok was at the words that fell out of his mouth, but he quickly regains composure, "You were also mean. I was just playing fair," Kihyun excuses and waves him off, walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to wash up. You go ahead and sleep first, hyung."

Hoseok crosses his arms, "I already waited this long for you and now you want me to sleep, first? You keep wasting my efforts, Kihyunnie."

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, a toothbrush in his mouth, "What? What more do you have planned?"

Hoseok flashes a soft smile, the smile that Kihyun worked so hard for to hate but couldn't in the end. The smile that makes him fall harder for the older man every single time.

"I'm going to sleep with you,"

 

++

 

Wait, was Kihyun  _choking_? Hyungwon furrows his eyebrows in worry. He was leaning on his bedroom door, spying on the two as they have their heartfelt conversation. It was not nice of him, he knows. But he was just about to wash up and then Kihyun comes home and it was the perfect opportunity to eavesdrop.

"Hyung, what the hell?!"

"What? Why? What's wrong with what I said?"

Hyungwon shakes his head in disdain at Hoseok's obliviousness.

"I just want to sleep in the same bed as you! We hadn't done that in years,"

"Fine! I'll go to your bed. Leave me now,"

Hyungwon snorts. He didn't even have to look to know how red in the face Kihyun was.

"Okay," Hoseok skips to their shared bedrooms and meets Hyungwon. "Oh, you're still awake?"

Hyungwon nods, "I need to go the bathroom,"

Hoseok hums in acknowledgement and enters the room, interest in him dropped. Hyungwon was surprised to see that Hoseok can  _drop_  his interest in  _Hyungwon_  that fast.

Because of Kihyun.

Hyungwon sighs. He hates lovebirds.

Hyungwon sits on the living room couch, iPod in his hands while waiting for Kihyun to finish in the washroom.

His gadget dings and a notification pops up and holy,  _no_   _way_.

 

 

minyuck: im giving you a chance to apologize.

 


	11. proof

asshole: ..what do you mean apologize

minyuck: apologize. you know. the act of saying sorry.

asshole: oh

asshole: .. what for?

minyuck: for playing with my heart.

Hyungwon sighs, resting his head on his pillow and muting out Kihyun and Wonho's late night murmurs in the bed below his.

Should he just say sorry and lie? Maybe then, he could continue this precious, unphysical relationship with Minhyuk. But then again, he hates lying from the bottom of his heart and he likes Minhyuk from also the bottom his heart, so if he were honest with himself, he doesn't think he could pull it off well, even if he is an actor.

Then should he insist the truth and persuade Minhyuk to believe him? Hyungwon could be honest and Minhyuk can be happy with being friends with his idol. But there's this risk that if he tries and tries, their relationship may be even more broken and that even if he does prove himself, he isn't sure how Minhyuk will take it.

"Hoseok hyung, please be quiet. Hyungwon's already sleeping, you might wake him up," Kihyun reminds Hoseok, whispering. A  slapping of skin and a pained hiss could be heard after.

"Ugh, Kihyunnie." Hoseok pouts.

What a baby, Hyungwon thinks, only then realizing that the reason he could see the olders' exchange was because he rolled to the side of his bed and peeked below, to the sight of two men squeezed in one space.

 _Oh my god_ , Hyungwon groans. They were  _spooning_.

"Oops, sorry." the little spoon mutters, half-apologetic, half-amused at Hoseok's exaggerated pain. "Did I hit too hard?"

"No. Hit harder," Hoseok, the big spoon, wriggles his eyebrows.

Kihyun makes a disgusted noise, "Move your arms Hoseok hyung. You're sleeping alone,"

"I was kidding," Hoseok giggles, tightening his hold on Kihyun. The shorter huffs in faux annoyance but there was an obvious smile on his lips that Hoseok, with Kihyun's back on him, cannot see.

Hyungwon chuckles bitterly. Never in his life did he expect himself to be envious of couples, but here we are.

"You do know that we're in a dating ban, right?" he asks towards Kihyun, the salt sprinkled in his words uncontrollable.

Kihyun looks at him in shock, "Oh, you're still awake?"

"Yeah. Because of you two. Can you guys lower the flirting volume?" Okay, Hyungwon wasn't awake because they were too loud (he was actually straining his ears to hear snippets of their whispering) but his bitter ass deems it better to say it.

"Sorry," Hoseok smiles apologetically, protective arms still around Kihyun even if Kihyun was already struggling to disentangle himself from him because he was conscious of Hyungwon. Hyungwon scoffs.

Kihyun gives up on putting space between him and the lilac haired, "And Hyungwon, what do you mean dating ban?" he turns to his bedmate, "Hoseok hyung? You're dating someone?"

"What? No!"

"Then what is Hyungwon talking about? Hey, Hyungwon, what are you talking about?" Kihyun asks Hyungwon who has returned to his lying-down-and-ignoring-their-existence position.

Hyungwon pouts. He wants whatever his whipped bandmates below him have.

Agh, whatever.

 

-

asshole: i am not lying

asshole: you know how i hate lying

asshole: i did not play with your heart

asshole: i really am chae hyungwon!

minyuck: are we seriously going to do this?

minyuck: fine whatever. im gonna humor you, but don't expect me to believe.

asshole: ouch

minyuck: youre still lying to me. im not sorry

asshole: i really am chae hyungwon :(

minyuck: omg ure chae hyungwon !! im a fan omg !! u are the love of my miserable life!!!

minyuck: like hell ill believe you with just that statement, kermit

asshole: where did you learn that language

minyuck: what language

asshole: sarcasm

minyuck: oh. well it's from you duh

asshole: i dont know if i should feel proud or disappointed with myself after learning that i was the source.

minyuck: look, hyungwon. stop dilly dally-ing. if you want me to believe you, i need proof.

asshole: okay

asshole: remember the last time i sent you a selca? have you seen that selca on the internet?

minyuck: ... no.

asshole: because that selca was sent exclusively to you by yours truly, chae hyungwon.

minyuck: um okay i admit that's creepy but I'm not convinced yet

minyuck: oh wait i have classes tomorrow, let's sleep for now.

asshole: wait

minyuck: what

asshole: tomorrow on whatever music show monsta x appears in

asshole: ill make a finger heart during my part in beautiful.

asshole: so please believe me.

minyuck: ...okay ill wait for it

minyuck: good night for now kermit

minyuck: <3

 

++

 

"Hyung," Hyungwon tugs on Shownu's coat, "Can I do a finger heart when it's my part?"

He was lowkey regretting this. Of all things he could have done as proof, he had gone with something that can greatly disrupt their performance. But what can he do? He could feel Minhyuk putting up walls around him and he panicked.

Shownu frowns, "What? Why?"

"Fanservice?" Jooheon inserts himself to the conversation, "That's actually a great idea. Let's do it!"

Shownu's frown eases in understanding, "Okay. Let's talk about it to them,"

Hyungwon hastily nods. It wasn't the reaction he expected but he'd take what he could get.

 

++

 

asshole: have you seen

minyuck: hyungwon's finger heart?

asshole: yes!

asshole: MY finger heart

minyuck: i did

minyuck: my heart exploded

minyuck: monsta x doing hearts my heart stopped

asshole: do you believe me now

minyuck: hahaha of course not!!!

asshole: why not??!???

minyuck: id believe it more if you say you're monsta x' manager

minyuck: not hyungwon

asshole: why are you so...

minyuck: i get that a lot.

minyuck: the "why are you so..."

minyuck: the "..." there is important

asshole: sigh

asshole: why are you so frustrating

minyuck: oh i get that a lot too

minyuck: but lmao dont worry im already 30% convinced you are hyungwon

minyuck: you are still most probably a stylist of monsta x to me

minyuck changed asshole's name into "stylist".

stylist: what the hell

minyuck: i won't be active this week tho

minyuck: I have to catch up on school

minyuck: i skipped a lot of stuff just to accept modelling offers

minyuck: so im saying goodbye for now, stylist.

stylist: ...okay

minyuck: lmao don't give up!!

 

++

 

"Oh my god!" Minhyuk squeals. "God fuck!"

Changkyun groans, "Your mouth needs cleansing,"

"Fuckin' shit!" Minhyuk looks up from his laptop to Changkyun who was opposite him on his own bed. "Holy fuck!"

The younger chuckles, "What is it? A commercial offer with a celebrity?"

"No!" Minhyuk's lips stretch into a smile too bright that Changkyun covers his eyes immediately. "My The Clan Pt. 2.5 Beautiful album!" he screams.

Changkyun moves his hands from his eyes to cover his ears, "What's with your album?"

"It got chosen for the fansign event!!!"


	12. signature

Minhyuk fiddles with his purposely long sleeves, waiting in line outside the room for the fansigning event. Did he look okay? There are various girls whispering about behind him, whispering stuff like "tall guy", "a model I've seen before" "handsome red haired" "gorgeous man in yellow" and he was pretty sure that was him, so he ticked the Do I look okay part in his mental list.

Did I bring my album? he pats his sling bag, feeling its contents. Okay, he brought them. Did he bring his gifts? He pats his bag again, feeling his portfolio. He drew each member of Monsta X as gifts and practice. Do I look oka-

The staff ushers them inside and his heart almost exploded as he enters the room.

It was like a downsized movie theater, except there were a stage, chairs and a banner of Monsta X.

He sits loosely and closes his eyes to ease his stiff and trembling muscles. This is it. Your first best fanboy moment.

"Um, excuse me," Minhyuk blinks open his eyes. "May I take a picture of you?"

He side-eyes the short haired girl who was holding her camera, ready to take a photo.

".. sure?" He doesn't see anything wrong with it, just that why is he the one whose picture is getting taken?

Music plays and Minhyuk jumps in his seat. And then there is Monsta X.

 

++

 

Hyungwon couldn't believe it. Is it really? Is that? Uh?

He feels someone pinch his arm and he hisses in pain. It was Kihyun.

"Pay attention, you idiot," he whispers.

Hyungwon wanted to, but he couldn't do that now, could he? It's him. His most adored person. Only a few meters away from him. Sitting as one of his fans and with the brightest smile on his face. It almost felt too surreal to see his beauty in person.

They take their seats and the line begins. Hyungwon tried his best to focus on interacting with his beloved monbebes and not on his crush (who is now ways bit closer) but he fails miserably.

"Is Hyungwon oppa okay?" a short haired girl asks worriedly, "You seem distracted,"

Hyungwon blinks, "Oh, sorry. I was thinking of something. It's nothing. Don't worry," he smiles and signs the album.

"Make sure to rest well, okay?" the girl pouts and Hyungwon chuckles, patting her hair before they part. It's no good to have been too distracted that his fans noticed it (and that he could feel Kihyun's eyes boring holes into him). He needs to get a grip and he'll fail in doing his duties as their beloved Hyungwon. But before he knew it..

"Hi!" Hyungwon gapes. "Please sign my album?"

Hyungwon nods dazedly, not breaking eye contact despite his shock. What the fuck, Minhyuk  _glows_.

"And here," Minhyuk hands him a piece of paper. "I'm sorry I couldn't afford gifts. I'm too poor. So I tried my best to draw you! I poured my heart and soul into it because you have been the light of my life! When I'm sad I just listen and watch Monsta X and I'm good. I'm fine. You make me happy. You're so handsome. I like you. Please marry me,"

Hyungwon could only blink at the onslaught of words. First, he gets surprised because he hadn't noticed his presence before it was his turn to tend to him and now he experiences his presence tenfold.

"Please don't laugh. I just talk faster when I'm nervous," Minhyuk whines and Hyungwon realizes that he was indeed, chuckling. But Minhyuk was just so..  _Minhyuk_. He couldn't help but smile.

"Why don't you just join Monsta X? You'll be our second rapper," he teases while signing his album. Heartbeat slowing down into a weird sense of security.

"The way I speak is loud and ugly so, no. Stop teasing meee," Minhyuk whines once more, covering his face in embarrassment.

Hyungwon couldn't stifle his giggle, his signature ending up a bit crooked. "And marriage? Are you sure? Can't you at least take me out on a date first?"

"If I could I would," Minhyuk pouts, "I would wish to have you exclusively!"

"Oh," Hyungwon gapes. "Wow,"

"Okay!" Minhyuk claps his hands together, "That sounded weird! Please forget I said that!"

Hyungwon was full out laughing now. "Don't worry, Minhyuk. I'd just use this to tease you the next time. Don't worry,"

Hyungwon's laugh halts when he noticed Minhyuk's puzzled expression.

"Um?" Hyungwon starts awkwardly, "Hello?"

"How'd you know my name?" Minhyuk blurts out and Hyungwon remembers the fact that Minhyuk didn't reveal his name to him.

Should he..?

"I heard it when you told Kihyun," he chickens out.

"No," Minhyuk frowns. "I didn't tell anyone my name? I'm not someone popular neither,"

"Uh," Hyungwon swallows and Minhyuk continues to stare at him.

_Ah, whatever._

"It's because it's me." Hyungwon points himself. "Kermit. I am Kermit. Your side hoe, Kermit."

"Side hoe Kermit?" Minhyuk frowns before his mouth widens dramatically. He shrieks, "Kermit?! wait. I don't understand-"

The staff ushers them to move and Minhyuk looked so confused and surprised and worried at once. Hyungwon couldn't believe that he thought a disgruntled Minhyuk was cute.

Hyungwon makes hand gestures signifying a phone towards Minhyuk, whispering "chat me later" before he pays attention to the fan in front of him. He puts a hand on his chest as an effort to calm his thunderous heart.

"Are you okay?" Wonho frowns at Minhyuk's blank stare towards Hyungwon. Hyungwon fights the urge to laugh. "Please focus on me, too." Wonho pouts.

That effectively snatches Minhyuk's attention, "Oh my god! You're so handsome!" he covers his eyes in surprise at the shine that is Hoseok.

Wonho giggles, "Thank you," and he pats Minhyuk's head. Hyungwon bites his cheek in contempt towards the man beside him, remembering when Minhyuk told him that he and Wonho were his two biases.

"I'm more handsome, aren't I?" Hyungwon blinks. Wait did he just say that out lou--

He snaps his head towards the other two who was gaping at him.

"Yes, you are more handsome," Wonho agrees with Hyungwon's query.

Minhyuk furrows his eyebrows, "I think you two are just as handsome!"

Hyungwon feels the irritation slowly invading his mind. "So who do you love more?"

 _Oh my god, that was the most pathetic you could ever be, Hyungwon. What the hell. Unbelievable._  He lectures himself, regretting the words he spewed out of his mouth.

Wonho raises a suspicious brow, and the fan in front of Hyungwon continues to stare at their banter silently.

"Y-you," Minhyuk whispers, covering his face with his palms and red on the ears.

Hyungwon really shouldn't, but he smiled so victoriously towards Wonho anyway.

"Thank you," Hyungwon's stretching his mouth so hard it hurt but,  _triumph_. "I love you more, too."

"Well, I love Wonho oppa more," the fan in front of Hyungwon comments and Wonho bursts in laughter.

"Thank you. You are very pretty," Wonho extends his arm to pat the girl's head while Hyungwon signs her album. He sees Minhyuk turn to Shownu in the corner of his eye.

That was over, Hyungwon thinks. And he couldn't deny the uplift on his mood after that encounter and until the fansign ends.

 

++

 

"What was that about?" Wonho follows Hyungwon and enters the bathroom as well.

"What was what about?"

Wonho crosses his arms. "You don't do that to monbebes often and your smile is so wide,"

"He said he loves me more than you. Isn't that enough to smile about?" Hyungwon glances.

"Uh," Wonho looks up at the ceiling in thought. "No,"

"I was teasing him. He was a friend," Hyungwon smiles at the memory, washing his hands.

"You look too happy,"

"No," Hyungwon turns off the faucet. "My happiness is normal,"

"You looked like that for a friend," Wonho says sarcastically.

"You looked like that for Kihyun," Hyungwon bites back, putting a sassy hand on his own waist, passing the frozen older to exit the room.

 

++

 

"Did I really?" Wonho jumps on the sofa.

"You really what," Hyungwon asks disinterestedly.

"Looked like you," Wonho fiddles with his fingers, "For Kihyun,"

Hyungwon puts his lips into a firm line and looks at him.

And looks back at his phone. (Yes, phone. Yay.)

"Don't ignore me!" Wonho whines.

Hyungwon continues to ignore the pouting existence beside him.

"What did you do to Hyungwon now?" Kihyun enters the room with a slight smile on his lips.

"I was just asking him!" Wonho points the youngest in the room as if he was a child who broke his toy.

"Right," Kihyun picks up empty cup of noodles on the coffee table. "What did you ask him?"

To that, Wonho opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish, "You don't need to know," he answers lamely.

Kihyun hums, "Whatever, I'd know anyway. Clean your room," he points towards Hyungwon, "You too. Fold your clothes. They're everywhere,"

Hyungwon hums in affirmative. Wonho gives up on getting an answer from him and decides to do what Kihyun ordered.

"Idiot lovebirds," Hyungwon says aloud when they were gone. "What's with the 'I'd know anyway', _god_ ,"

A notification pops up, distracts him from judging the existence of his two co-members and his heartbeat rate goes up dramatically.

 

minyuck: ..Hyungwon?

 


	13. distance

minyuck: .. Hyungwon?

stylist: yes, minhyuk?

stylist changed his name into "chae".

chae: is there anything wrong?

minyuck: seriously?

minyuck: are you really THE chae hyungwon?

chae: i think so? yeah

chae: I mean. i DID tell you earlier at the fansign

chae: and many times before that

minyuck: alqhqhqjajdhw no way

chae: why are u always in de N I A L

chae: gawd!!!! it's me!!!! ok?!?!!

chae: just accept it!!

minyuck: but!!! it's weird???

minyuck: and fuck you!!!! why didn't u tell me right from the start??? ./.??

chae: then you wouldn't have talked to me?? duh??

minyuck: but still???

chae: why do we chat in exclamation points and question marks???!??

minyuck: bc!! u are such an ass!!!!! and im so??? shookt you FUCKER

chae: are you really cursing me?? THE chae hyungwon?

minyuck: so?? it's not like i have any image left to preserve right?!

chae: huh. you have a point

minyuck: it's just..

chae: just?

minyuck: i don't want to chat with you anymore

chae: wait what

chae: hold on WHAT

chae: WHY

chae: HEY ANSWER ME WHY

Hyungwon panics. This is  _so_  not what he wanted to happen.

chae: are you embarrassed?? i thought you said you have no image left to preserve? :(??

chae: um HELLO??

chae: dont be embarrassed about being yourself! I wanted to be friends with you because of your honest personality! there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

chae: Minhyuk!

chae: DONR GO OFFLINE O ME

chae: YAH LEE MINHYUK

chae: ... come back.

 

++

 

Hyungwon throws his phone on his upper bunk bed in frustration.

"Where did I go wrong?!" he tugs on his hair in rage. Of course Minhyuk had to go offline in that exact moment!

"Hyungwon, calm the hell down." Kihyun snaps towards the taller male when he passes the open bedroom door and sees the tantrum. "Your iPhone doesn't deserve such maltreatment. Take a bath to cool off, for God's sake," he throws clothes in the washing machine before returning to Hyungwon. "Why are you so angry anyway?"

Hyungwon grits his teeth, "You don't need to know,"

"Don't I?" Kihyun sasses. "Like hell I don't! Sit down and breathe, you asshole."

The word "asshole" makes Hyungwon's ear tingle and he tuts in irritation. "I'm already breathing. I've always been breathing. I kinda need that to live, after all."

"Yes, I know you're breathing but are you sitting down? No. Just. Sit. Down." Kihyun scowls at him. "Don't sass me, shut up and sit down or I'll tell manager-hyung about your secret homosexual love affair."

Hyungwon huffs, "Secret homosexual love affair my ass,"

"Did he break up with you on the phone or something?" Kihyun crosses his arms. "You're not usually this petty,"

"We weren't in a love affair. I told you we were  _friends_ ," Hyungwon sighs. He really doesn't need a lecture right now. "If anyone can tell manager-hyung on anything, it's me. You and Wonho hyung, the real homosexual relationship and all. Who knows what activities commence underneath his blanket?" he gesticulates vaguely.

"We are  _not_  in that relationship,"

"Oops," Hyungwon gasps exaggeratedly, "Was it just me or did you not deny that both of you are homosexual?"

"Wow, an asshole." Kihyun scoffs, "Your rudeness multiplies by five when you're mad, huh."

Hyungwon blinks realizing the words that spewed out of his mouth, "Wait, hyung. I didnt mean that," he hastily stands up and reaches out towards Kihyun, "I'm sorr--"

Kihyun slaps his hand away, "Don't talk to me with your half-assed apologies." he turns away, "I'm not talking to you anymore," he whispers before he slams the door close.

Hyungwon could only stand frozen in place.

He blinks and sits down on a bed, trying Kihyun's advice to breathe.

He inhales and exhales.

Fucking hell.

 

++

 

Two weeks have passed.

Hyungwon groans for the 23rd time for the morning. He never wanted to not get out of his bed this much. They were asked to model for a sports brand (no, he doesn't do sports but who cares? He looks good in caps.) and was there for a photoshoot but his mood is still sour after ignoring his internet friend for weeks (Two weeks, one day, two hours, and nine minutes to be exact.)

He and Kihyun, thankfully, made up before they went to bed that night, with Hyungwon saying sorry as sincerely as he could and Kihyun giving him a small smile and a shoulder pat, muttering "I understand. I was just acting out my annoyance for you," even when Hyungwon thinks otherwise. Clearly, Kihyun is affected by his words, proven in the distance in between  Kihyun and his love interest, Wonho hyung, that Kihyun put in this morning.

Wonho looks at Kihyun, who was undergoing makeup, with a kicked puppy face.

Hyungwon may or may not be still bitter because of his lack of love from his interest, and so he does nothing to help his hyung.

He fiddles with his fingers, his hands unconsciously missing the weight of a phone, but what can he do? He stupidly broke an expensive ass phone in his burst of anger.

He sighs. What's the point of even having a phone? It's not like Minhyuk will reply to him. (He knows. He always checked. He even used Jooheon's phone.) He was abandoned and left to rot in his one-sided feelings for his too giggly internet friend with his too loud voice and too pretty eyes and too wide smile like how the one white-haired guy passing by the glass window in their dressing room has, wait.

He hastily stands, utilizing his long limbs to stride through the room, ignoring Jooheon's curious "hyung?" in his panic.

Impossible. This can't be real. Does fate love him that much to let him meet him so many times? Is this fate's way of saying that he shouldn't give up on his first love?

He passes through a corridor and almost trips on his halting.  _He_  was there, in all his beauty and gorgeousness that Hyungwon couldn't look away from, patting his cheeks and fixing his white hair in front a fire extinguisher case he used as a mirror.

It really was Minhyuk.

Hyungwon wanted to cry.

The younger clenched his fists, debating whether or not he should run to him or leave their relationship to die then and there in their last kakao conversation. This was Minhyuk, all stubborn Minhyuk who fights his way if he felt oppressed. It was Minhyuk, all beautiful Minhyuk, softly smiling to his reflection as an encouragement to himself.

Hyungwon had never felt so torn and afraid to reach out.

He looks at his trembling fingers and remembers his first time modelling, how a fellow model softly smiled at him and encouraged him to walk his way in the runway with no regrets at such a young age, warm palms covering his cold, trembling fingers to soothe him. It was his first walk he successfully achieved and paved his way to showbusiness, allowing him the chance to be an idol.

He clenches his fist at the motivation, realizing that not taking risks would end him up with more despair.

He takes two long strides, arms rigid on his sides and mouth opening to call the older's name out.

"M--"

"Minhyuk!"

Hyungwon stops in his steps as a man approaches Minhyuk with an annoyed face.

"Hi, hyung," Minhyuk sheepishly greets the man.

"Don't 'hi, hyung' me! I couldn't contact you for weeks!" The man fumes, "Seriously! This kid! Did your phone get lost or something?"

"Hyung," Minhyuk tries to pacify him, "There are at least two broke things in this world. One example being my phone, a second being me," Minhyuk laughs. "I legit just bought this on my way here. Don't worry! I have a phone to contact you now. Give me your contact numb--"

Hyungwon's breath hitches. The old man tilts his head, "My number? Minhyuk? Hello?"

Minhyuk's grip on his new gadget loosens and he drops it onto the floor.

Hyungwon feels his throat run dry at the sight of Minhyuk gaping at him.

.


	14. proximity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: complain-y, cry-y wonho lmao

 

"Oh my god. It's Chae Hyungwon," the old man gasps out in surprise. He hits Minhyuk's shoulder, "Greet him,"

"What," Minhyuk hangs his mouth open, "I--Chae Hyungwon- you-  _what_ ,"

The manager rolls his eyes at Minhyuk before pinching his sides. The white-haired squeaks. "Good morning, Mr. Chae! Anything wrong?"

"Uh," Hyungwon licks his lips, eyes not leaving Minhyuk's pained face. "Nothing. I'm here to uh, get air. It was hot in our room," Hot. Yep. As if it wasn't an almost Ice Age inside Monsta X' room and the whole building for that matter. Definitely needed that cool, fresh air.

Minhyuk frowns in confusion but the manager seemed to ignore the ridiculousness of Hyungwon's words, "That's great! Since you're here, I'll introduce you to our model who Monsta X will be working with," he points at Minhyuk, said Minhyuk's eyes almost fell off of their sockets in surprise at the news, "He's pretty new here but his popularity is rising lately. It'll be good recognition for the both of you,"

"I haven't heard this," Minhyuk interrupts, face pale.

"Of course, you haven't. You never replied to my texts and calls, remember?" the man glares at him. "Besides, aren't you a fan? Just consider yourself lucky." He turns towards Hyungwon, "You see, this guy is craaaazy about Monsta X. He worships you guys and cries wh-"

Minhyuk covers the man's mouth. "Okay, okay. I get it. Just let me finish talking with noona before I get to the set. I'm gonna go for now. Goodbye," He lets go of the manager before he nods towards Hyungwon. Then, he sprints away.

Hyungwon's could only blink at what happened and how so fast it happened. He's been doing that dumbfounded blink a lot lately.

"We're going to work with him?" Hyungwon clarifies. "He's the model you guys were talking about? I thought it was a girl,"

"Oh, were you perhaps misinformed or uncomfortable with a guy?" The man panics. "I'll inform the set right away. Should we change the model? Should we--"

"No," Hyungwon sighs. "No, it's fine. Nobody told us it would be a girl. We just assumed it because we're already five men," he dismisses the man's words. "It's fine. It's not bad to have him with us in the shoot,"

Of course it was not bad. Hyungwon might as well be crying with glee at the moment. Hyungwon never felt so loved by God.

A girl comes out of the hallway and waves for Hyungwon, "Hyungwon-ssi! It's your turn for make-up!"

"I better get going," Hyungwon nods at the older man.

"Oh, um. Okay," The shorter man says, "I hope you guys get along well,"

Hyungwon smiles.

"I hope so, too."

 

++

 

"Hyungwon,"

"Yes?"

"What's with you?"

"..."

"Hyungwon,"

"Yes?"

"What's with you?"

"..."

Wonho frowns at the repeated silence, "Answer me for God's sake."

Hyungwon flinches and looks at him, "Wait, sorry. We're you saying something?"

Wonho closes his eyes to resist his irritation. "I said," He inhales, "What's with you?"

"Oh," Hyungwon mouth forms an 'o' shape before going back on his staring off into space.

"Oh my  _god_ ," Wonho pinches the space between his eyebrows, "This is so frustrating. I'm gonna cry,"

"You're already crying," Jooheon comments.

"Am I?" Wonho holds his cheeks. Yep, they're wet. "Oh my god?"

Jooheon raises an eyebrow, "Why are you crying?" He scans the room for any object that will add to Wonho's tears. Thankfully, no Yoo Kihyun sighted. "What did Kihyun hyung do?"

"It's just," Wonho starts. Basing from his tears and sobs, Jooheon could tell the 'just' in the statement was a lie. The younger removes his earphones and readies himself for the ranting.

"It's just that everything is so mean, you know?"

"You mean, Kihyun hyung?" Jooheon corrects.

"Fine," He sniffles, "It's just that Kihyun is so mean, you know?"

Jooheon nods to let him know he was listening, Hyungwon's jaw was still agape as his mind was in another dimension.

"He was so so,  _cuddly_  and  _squishy_." Wonho gesticulates, "But then, out of nowhere, he hates being in the same room as me!"

Jooheon frowns, "Wait, Kihyun hyung avoided  _you_? What did  _you_  do?"

"I don't know!" The older cries in anguish, "He wouldn't even answer when I ask why!"

Jooheon narrows his eyes at him.

"Nah," Wonho and Jooheon jumps when Hyungwon suddenly chirps in, actually fully aware of their conversation. "It's not your fault. That guy's just petty,"

"Petty?" Wonho eyes the one with the blank stare with interest. "You know why he's ignoring me?"

"Of course," Hyungwon sighs, still looking off into nowhere. "He's just shy. Or something. On second thought, I don't know. Just wait for him to approach you on his own,"

Wonho looks at him skeptically, "You  _know_  something, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Hyungwon sighs once more, "You're the only one here who knows nothing,"

"Hey," Jooheon lightly scolds.

"Oops, my mistake," Hyungwon presses his lips into a line. "You  _two_  are the only ones here who know nothing,"

Jooheon frowns. "Why are you so cranky these days?"

"I'm stressed," Hyungwon slumps in his seat, covering his face with his palms. "Its just that everything is so stressful, you know?"

"Wait," Jooheon holds a 'stop' hand sign out. "We listen to rants here one by one, okay? Wonho hyung first because he complained first. You go after him,"

The visuals heaved big sighs. Jooheon couldn't help but feel sorry for them.

"How come you're so carefree?" Hyungwon speaks up, "I'm jealous. I wish you have problems with your rapper friend,"

"What rapper friend?" Wonho's eyes brighten in interest. "What rapper friend?" he repeats.

Jooheon glares at Hyungwon.

"I don't know if they're really friends or something more," Hyungwon shrugs. "But I saw a snippet of their convo when I borrowed his phone,"

"Contrary to what you are hoping for Hyungwon hyung, we are really just friends," Jooheon narrows his narrow eyes further for him, "Stop invading other people's privacy!"

"Oh, come on," Hyungwon jumps on Jooheon, "You're my favorite dongsaeng! I should know everything,"

"I'm your only dongsaeng,"

"Exactly."

"No,"

"Damn, this I.M. guy must be really important to you, huh." Wonho remarks.

"How did you know-- Stop scrolling on my phone!!!" Jooheon screams.

"Why are you guys so loud?" Kihyun, who was entering the room, complains. "Wonho hyung, hand Jooheon his phone,"

"Finally! Someone who is on my side," Jooheon sighs in relief, still struggling to get Hyungwon's weight off of him.

"Wait a minute. I'm getting to the fun part," Wonho continues scrolling, beckoning Kihyun to come over.

"What's that," Kihyun skims through the conversation as well. "Wow, our Jooheon has grown. He's flirting. Shownu hyung! Jooheon is flirting!"

"I thought you were on my side! I feel so betrayed!" He screeches, Hyungwon still dangling off of him.

"Okay, I've seen enough." Kihyun snatches the phone in Wonho's hands. "Let Jooheon have his private fun," he throws the phone towards the maknae of the group. "But you need to report to us your progress with this I.M. guy,"

"How many times do I have to repeat that I have no intentions in dating him!" Jooheon groans.

"Why not?" Wonho tilts his head.

"He's a guy,"

"And?" Wonho asks as if Jooheon was being dumb.

"And what?" Jooheon asks back.

"There's nothing wrong with liking another guy," Wonho lectures. "You can love any person with any gender you want and there's nothing wrong with that because there's no such thing as gender in love, right Kihyun?"

Hyungwon snaps his head towards the shorter man who was addressed, interested in his response.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe gender doesn't matter?" Kihyun hesitatedly responds. "We'll support you in whoever you like Jooheon," he awkwardly smiles at the younger.

Wonho grins at Kihyun. "See? Even Kihyun said it! It's fine,"

Jooheon pouts, "Even if you guys accept me it still doesn't mean I really like Changkyun,"

"We're telling you just in case," Hyungwon hums, hugging Jooheon tighter, analyzing Kihyun's expressions on his most sensitive topic.

"As your responsible and considerate hyung, I just want to let you know that there's nothing wrong with liking the same gender. Be like me, I'm okay with any as long as I love them," Wonho smiles softly. "I just want what's best for the baby,"

"Fine, fine," Jooheon gives in and finally hugs Hyungwon back. "Thank you all,"

After the atmosphere settled, Kihyun makes to leave the room and meets Shownu on the way.

"Are you okay?" The older queries, "Off to the bathroom?"

"I'm fine? What? Do I look sick?" Kihyun asks.

"You look constipated,"

"He always does," Hyungwon inserts. "It's his default face,"

"Stop butting in on every conversation will you?" Kihyun groans.

"Your tummy is sick, Kihyun?" Wonho questions, worry seeping into his voice, "I'll go with you to the bathroom. Is it bad? Do you need medicine?" he interviews while approaching the younger.

"I'm okay," Kihyun dismisses him.

"I'm still going with you," Wonho pouts.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and continues walking outside, "It's not like you listen to me anyway,"

"I always listen to you!" Wonho whines.

Kihyun sighs, "Yes, you always listen to me that it hurts,"

"Me listening hurts you?" Wonho flashes a face of utter confusion. "I don't get it. Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

"Yeah," Kihyun hums in affirmative.

"Whaaat," Wonho stretches his mouth. "I don't get the connection,"

"You're with me too much okay," Kihyun snaps. "It's unsettling,"

Wonho halts in his steps in shock.

Kihyun turns towards him, "You're always with me and you," he points at the older's eyes. "You look at me so warmly. You didn't look at me with that before," he croaks, tone betrayed.

"I didn't look at you with what?" Wonho whispers.

"With affection," Kihyun clenches his fist. "You look at me as if you genuinely care about me!"

"And I do! What's unsettling with that?" Wonho screams back.

"Nothing is! There's nothing wrong with that!" Kihyun shouts.

"What the hell? What is wrong with you then?!"

"I'm being hopeful, okay?!" Kihyun screeches. "And it's wrong to be hopeful! I'm angry! Leave me alone for now!" and he runs.

"HOPEFUL ABOUT WHAT?!" Wonho screams and runs after him.

-

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kiho goes woosh woosh


	15. make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i forgot to crosspost these chapters hswqhsdqwh it crossed my mind woops

.

"HOPEFUL ABOUT WHAT?!" Wonho screams and Kihyun can feel the older running after him.

"Damn it! I said get away from me!" Kihyun huffs back. Thank god their clothes at the moment were made for sports and movement. "Don't follow me!"

"Fine! But stop running!" Wonho pleads, "I'll stop as long as you stop,"

Kihyun contemplates halting in his sprint. Should he do as told? He doesn't necessarily not trust Wonho but he kind of doubts him now.

Kihyun looks back to see Wonho still following his steps, gaze firm and determined.

Kihyun sighs. No matter how stupid it'd seem but he really trusts this guy the most.

He stops and turns around, catching his lost breath. "There. I stopped," he states for Wonho who was clutching on his own knees.

Wonho flashes him a tired yet gentle upturn of the lips, as if thanking Kihyun for listening to him.

But alas, the soft smile turns into a Cheshire grin and Kihyun knows he's fucked.

"Get your hands off of me!" Kihyun screams when Wonho pulled him by the wrist.

Wonho rolls his eyes, "You're overreacting," He carries Kihyun, situating the younger man in his arms, bridal style. "Now, stop struggling or you'll fall,"

Kihyun gasps, " _No_ ," He hides his face in his palms, "This is not how I dreamed you carrying me to be but I still like it. Oh my god,"

Wonho tilts his head closer to Kihyun's face. "You said something?"

"Nothing," Kihyun declines, voice covered by his palms. "Let me down,"

Wonho starts to walk outside, "Not until you tell me what's wrong,"

Kihyun groans, "Nothing is. Let me down,"

"Excuse me," Wonho says to a staff passing by who is looking at them weirdly, "If nothing's wrong then why are you covering your face like this?"

"Because you're carrying me?" Kihyun removes his hands to glare at Wonho. Wonho tries to drop Kihyun.

Kihyun screeches, scrambling to prevent his fall and wrapping his arms around Wonho's neck. "Agh! Hyung!!!"

Wonho guffaws, securing his hold onto the smaller once more. "Will you tell me what's wrong now?" He asks cheekily, clearly amused at the current situation.

"N-nothing is!" Kihyun stutters, flustered at the realization that there was almost no space in between their faces and that he could literally feel the older's breath.

"Aish, my Kihyunnie is so stubborn." Wonho tuts, continuing on his walking.

Kihyun's ear flush at the endearing nickname and the possessiveness of his words, but he will not, will  _n_ _ever_  let Wonho notice it. "Where are you taking me? We need to go back now,"

"You didn't really mind the shoot when you ran away. Why think of it now?" Wonho replies, smugness apparent. Kihyun wanted to sock him a good one.

Just as Kihyun was about to raise his elbow, Wonho stops and sits down on a bench. Kihyun sighs in relief that finally, his hyung will set him free and that his heart can have a break.

Until said hyung decides to wrap his arms around Kihyun's waist, having no intentions of letting him go.

Kihyun internally cries. Why does his hyung keep deceiving him?!

"This is pretty comfy, isn't it?" Wonho hums and Kihyun actually elbows him this time.

"Ouch. You just need to tell me what's bothering you and I'll stop! No need to use violence," Wonho whines as his chest took a hit.

"Fine," Kihyun sighs in defeat, crossing his arms and pouting his lips. "Ask away," he slumps.

"Cute," Wonho coos and that effectively made Kihyun blush even harder. "You said being hopeful was wrong. How exactly was it wrong?"

"Forget it,"

"Kihyun,"

"Okay, okay. I'm hopeful because I'm hopeful,"

"You're not making any sense. You're just lessening the chance of me letting you go,"

"I hate this," Kihyun groans loudly. Should he finally say it?

"Just spit it out~" Wonho sing-songs.

_Agh. Fine._

Kihyun huffs, "Promise me you won't hate me or avoid me or whatever, okay?"

Wonho nods, now confused. "It's not like I can hate you or avoid you or whatever?"

Kihyun rolls his eyes but his insides were actually receiving relief from the older's words. "Promise me,"

"Promise," Wonho flashes him a soft, placating smile, confusion still visible on his visage.

"No regrets?"

"None,"

Kihyun grimaces, "Hyung, do you like me?" he starts, holding his breath.

Wonho raises his eyebrows, "I like you,"

"As in," Kihyun gesticulates, starting to regret his decision, "Like as in romantic like. "I want to date you" like,"

"Oh," Wonho's jaw slackens. Kihyun licks his lips to try lessen its trembling.

"Because I do," Kihyun closes his eyes in fear of the elder's reaction. "I like you. Like, romantic like,"

Silence ensues because of Wonho's lack of words. Kihyun almost went deaf from the blasting beating of his heart.

"You like me in the "I want to date you" like?" Wonho clarifies. Kihyun gnaws on his lips before slowly nodding. "Oh,"

Kihyun can feel tears prickle in the sides of his eyes. He had never been so scared of another person's reply his whole life, after all.

A vibration can be felt and Kihyun finally opens his eyes.

"Phone," Wonho breathes out. Kihyun scrambles to search for his phone in his pockets (Hand brushing on Wonho's firm thigh in the process, oh my  _god_ ).

He opens it up and sees that it was an alarm set for their photoshoot. Kihyun thanks the gods for giving him every opportunity to run away from the situation he made.

"H-hyung! It's time for the shoot. We need to go, haha." He laughs awkwardly even if there was nothing to laugh at. He stands up, only realizing that Wonho's hold on him was loose ever since he confessed.

He confessed. He actually confessed to Hoseok. Holy shit.

Kihyun tugs at his hair, walking away and never sparing Wonho a glance.

He however, gets surprised by Shin Hoseok thrice that day.

"Um, Kihyun?" Wonho pulls on Kihyun's wrist to halt him from his walk.

_Ah, this is it._  Kihyun fights back a threatening sob.  _It's all over._

He braves himself and meets the older, blushing man's eye.

Wait. Blushing?

"I d-don't know if I like you," Wonho stutters and Kihyun gapes at him in shock. "But hearing you say you like me makes me uh, really happy?"

Kihyun closes his mouth. No. Fucking. Way.

"And your point is?" Kihyun cuts to the chase. If this was all a joke, he needs Wonho to deliver the punchline faster or his poor heart might literally break.

But who can joke a fucking blush???!!!!

"Can you go out with me?"

Kihyun's heart skips a beat. He looks Wonho up from head to toe, scrutinizing him for any signs of it being a lie.

Nope. He wasn't lying.

Kihyun whimpers. "No," and he runs.

"Wait, what? " Wonho blinks. "KIHYUN, WHAT THE HELL?! AGAIN?! WHY?!" and he runs after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> monsta x? u mean, sissy x.


	16. make up pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole fic is unbeta'd sorry hehe maybe ill beta... maybe
> 
> also, i know photo shoots as much as i know modelling; i know nothing.

 

Hyungwon's heart is gonna break. He can feel it. He's dying. Or maybe it's just one of his dramatic episodes. Whatever. He's still going to die.

Jooheon looks at his hyung who was standing weirdly by the tip of his toes, "Stop, uh, vibrating,"

Hyungwon halts in his shaking, pressing his lips together tightly and letting out a muffled, high-pitched scream.

"Uh, are you okay..?" Jooheon worries as Hyunwoo opens the door for them to enter the studio.

They were greeted by the bright lights, flashy backdrops and warm welcome from the staff. They bow and do their greetings.

Jooheon observes his members. His Shownu hyung was in his chill mood. His Wonho hyung was more... ruffled and flushed, but was bright-eyed and motivated. His Kihyun hyung was, woah, cute(?) He was red all over and looking totally flustered, but his pretty lips were trying to hide a smile. His Hyungwon hyung...

was glowing.

Heck, he even beat the room's blinding white lights. His smile almost reached his ears and he was just  _so_  happy, beaming and giggling. Jooheon can't help but be affected by his hyungs' moods.

He whispers, "Hyung, are you high on something?"

Hyungwon's eyes glance over his way, "What do you mean, Jooheon?" he giggles.

"You're giggling," Jooheon laughs. "And literally vibrating in happiness. You've been gloomy and now you're all million-watt smiles,"

Hyungwon grins at him, "You could never guess what happened to me,"

"Oh?" Jooheon's interest was piqued. "What did happen to you?"

"The best thing in my life," his expression turns soft and Jooheon was taken aback at the change.

"What?"

Hyungwon points forward.

"Him,"

A pretty man, with hair colored white and clothes of the same type as theirs, stares at them with wide eyes.

"I'm Minhyuk," he gulps. "A f-f-f-f-fan!"

 

++

 

Should he cry or should he lie down on the floor and  _then_ , cry? Minhyuk thinks as he feels his dignity curling into itself with embarrassment by the second but unluckily for him, his mouth has a mind and conscience of its own.

The result:

"I'm Minhyuk. I'm a monbebe. I'm a great fan. OMG. OMG. I love your songs. I'm a monbebe!"

Jooheon nods in appreciation at the white-haired's compliment.

"Are you a fan or are you a broken cassette tape?" Hyungwon teases and wow, Jooheon is surprised (and weirded out) by his hyung's confident aura that never really appears behind cameras.

He's also never this familiar with a co-model before.

He elbows the older, "Who is he?"

"I'm Minhyuk!" the white-haired repeats. "Your uh, co-model for this shoot!"

Jooheon smiles at him and Minhyuk squeals at the sight of his dimples. Hyungwon shrugs.

"Have I met you before?" Jooheon asks the white-haired. "You look familiar,"

"We've met at a fansign before!" Minhyuk proclaims with an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm.

"Oh!" Jooheon gasps, "You're that guy who proposed to Hyungwon hyung,"

Minhyuk could only blush furiously and Jooheon laughs, "Your drawing of me was beautiful. Thank you again,"

The white-haired buries his face in his palms, uttering a muffled 'you're welcome!'. Hyungwon ruffles the flustered model's hair.

"Let's go," Hyungwon smoothly hooks his hand on Minhyuk's waist. "They're starting to shoot the solos,"

Jooheon raises an eyebrow at the touchy fingers and the gaping mouth of the new model.

"You know each other?" Jooheon couldn't stop himself from asking. This was juicy gossip and he isn't going to let the opportunity to collect Hyungwon-teasing material go to waste.

"We have been in many modelling gigs together," Hyungwon easily explains with a tight-lipped smile, nimble fingers pressing into Minhyuk's sensitive stomach.

Minhyuk flinches, "Y-you're tickling me,"

"Oops, sorry." Hyungwon releases his hold on him, opting to put a firm hand on his shoulder.

Jooheon raises both of his eyebrows.

"Jooheon!" Shownu calls the maknae for his turn for the shoot and he follows suit, leaving the greasy pair alone.

Jooheon stops in his tracks in realization.

Did Hyungwon just call Minhyuk.... _the best thing that ever happened in his life?_

 

++

 

"Uh, c-could y-you um," Minhyuk stutters, "..your hand,"

Hyungwon hums to let him know he was listening. "What's wrong with my hand?"

Minhyuk doesn't look up at him. "... They're beautiful."

Hyungwon snorts, "Thanks?"

"No, no, wait. That's not what I'm supposed to say. Gosh," Minhyuk groans. "This isn't good for me,"

Hyungwon chuckles, patting his back. "Why? Is my gorgeousness making your heart go doki doki?"

"It's more of bboom bboom but whatever that's not the point," Minhyuk side-comments. "You sound like Kermit,"

"Because I  _am_  Kermit," Hyungwon frowns. "Seriously? You still don't believe me?"

"Who would!" Minhyuk whines, finally facing him to start his ranting. "Why me? Did I save a country in my last life or something? Why is it me who gets to chat with my idol? Why is it someone as pathetic as me to be in the same place at the same time with you like this? Why is it me who is so close to you that I can see your lip mole and it's effectively driving me crazy? What kind of dream is this?"

Hyungwon coughs to hide his embarrassment at the mention of the effects of his lip mole, unconsciously covering it with his hand. "Stop doubting everything and just be glad that the luck goddess is on your side, idiot,"

Minhyuk pouts. "I'm so happy to the point that it's scary,"

Hyungwon rolls his eyes, grabbing his hand. "Whatever, drama queen. It's your turn. Stop thinking about those stuff and focus on your work. How unprofessional for you to confess you're undying feelings in the middle of a shoot," he jokes.

Minhyuk doesn't answer. Hyungwon guesses that he was in one of his moods. Minmin was a person of extreme mood swings, after all.

The younger starts to worry that the white-haired's emotions will disturb his performance.

"You're right," Minhyuk mumbles after a beat of silence.

Hyungwon sighs in relief. "I'll talk to you more later. Now go make me cry with your handsomeness,"

Minhyuk nods dazedly before walking to his position in front of the cameras.

And as if a switch was flipped, Minhyuk's demeanor changed. There was a shift in his aura. He oozed confidence and charm with his breath-taking smile and beautiful lips, presenting himself in the way that shows his gorgeous, greatest qualities.

Hyungwon almost swooned.

"Ooh. He's good," Kihyun comments behind Hyungwon, effectively making the younger jump in shock. "No wonder you're giving him bedroom eyes,"

Hyungwon chokes, "What eyes?"

"Bedroom eyes."

"Who even uses that term anymore?"

Kihyun shrugs. "Who cares about who uses it or what? You see, what I care about is you looking at him with barely suppressed affection. You know him?"

Hyungwon blinks, turning back to Minhyuk, "Uh, I don't?"

At that time, the white-haired model changes his pose, putting a hand on his waist and tilting his head, sending a wink towards Hyungwon's direction.

Kihyun scoffs, "Yeah, right. As if you don't know hi--"

Hyungwon swoons, his legs buckle and his ass kisses the floor loudly. All the people pause in their actions to glance towards the source of the noise.

Kihyun didn't even try to control his obnoxious laughter.

 

++

 

"You did well,"

Minhyuk nods, avoiding eye-contact. "T-thank you,"

Hyungwon ruffles the older's hair the second time that day. "So I guess this is goodbye?"

Minhyuk's eyes widen at the truth in Hyungwon's words he hadn't realized before. "Oh, yeah." He really doesn't want to part with him yet. But then if he just stays like this in front of Hyungwon he might be annoying...

Hyungwon smiles, Minhyuk's heart skips two beats.

"I-I'll be going now. Thanks for everything!" Minhyuk bows, walking past the taller stiffly.

Hyungwon grabs Minhyuk's arm, effectively halting the older's movements altogether (even breathing).

"Um," The younger scratches at his own nape, shy. Minhyuk internally coos at the cuteness. "Want to go on a date with me?"

"What?" Minhyuk's jaw drops, "Is this a dream? A-are you really asking me on a da... da.. da.."

"Yes, _'da'_." Hyungwon chuckles. "Since I'm free next Saturday,"

Minhyuk gapes at him. Hyungwon can even see tears at the corners of his eyes. The sight was comical.

"I would  _die_  to," Minhyuk replies after a few seconds of shock, "But I have an exam that day and-- wait, you know what? Fuck exams." Minhyuk grins. "Where are we going?"

"Well, we can't have that," Hyungwon tuts. "Education is more important. Hold more value for it for the sake of people who aren't able to experience it as much as you do. Like me,"

Minhyuk nods, his face crumpling into what Hyungwon guesses is guilt from the point he had sent across. "B-but it's in the morning! So we could meet up at noon, right?"

Hyungwon's smile returns at full brightness, "That's great!" he nods enthusiastically. Monsta X' manager called for the brunette.

Hyungwon gives his manager an 'OK' sign before redirecting his attention towards Minhyuk. "I'll just chat you later for the details! So you better unblock me, you fucker!" he shouts as he sprints for his ride home.

"S-sure!" Minhyuk screams back, his voice cracking at the squeal accidentally mixed. He watches the love of his life enter his van. He puts a hand to his chest and breathes deeply, willing away his blush and calming his thunderous heartbeats.

He hopes he can get used to meeting his idol like that.

He hopes he  _has_  to get used to meeting his idol like that.

He runs, a cool breeze hitting his overly warm face. He wants to scream.

So he did.

"I'm going on a date with Chae Hyungwon!" He screeches at the top of his lungs in glee, earning a few weird looks from the people walking the streets with him.

Minhyuk still has a long way to go before getting used to meeting his idol like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it for the crosspost!! i'll be uploading only one chapter each update from now on hehe :>


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